Ask yourself about your priorities in life... For most people or should I say most Christian's its supposed to be God, Spouse, Children (if you have them)... then fill in the blank.... job, hobbies, friends, SEC Football... whatever. So everyone has a Totem Pole of priorities. I was just talking to someone about a friendship I had/have with someone else. Then I mentioned the conversation to my husband. If a friend has certain actions that occur over time that leaves me to believe of where I am at in her list of priorities. I have never asked to be anyone but my husband's priority... maybe my parents as well. But I would never demand a friend make me a priority in their life when they have their own faith, job, family, possibly spouse. I have had friends multiple times make that demand of ME though. So if your looking at a Totem pole and you can place the priorities at the top being faith, then your spouse, then children or job or whatever... Then you have another totem pole of friends and maybe hobbies. Perhaps we all have Totem Poles in our lives where we categorize things like this... even friends. We have BEST friends and Childhood friends and perhaps if my BEST friend +Michelle Jorden asked me to be there for something or do something for/with her and an acquaintance asked me to attend a birthday party or some other event the same time of course I would go be there for my BEST friend because I think it would mean MORE to her than it would the acquaintance and it would also hurt her more if I chose the other person over her. In peoples lives its okay to be at the top of some people's Totem Poles... its just as okay to be on the bottom as well. You can't be at everyone's top! Its nice to know where you are on another person's Totem Pole though. How I rate myself on your Totem pole is how I am treated. Do you take time out to check on me when you know I've been dealing with a lot, leave a text message, voice mail or even an email. I'd feel really special and near the top if I got a letter or Christmas card or something. You really took time out to show me you care. When you return a favor or do something out of goodness. I can accept being at the bottom of your Totem Pole but I know not to make you a priority.