Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Trouble with Ramona

I was listening to Mojo (a local DJ on 104.3) and he was reading an email in a segment he calls Naked Morning Guy where this woman "Ramona" said she always has that one friend that always tends to call when she needs something not when she just wants to get together or whatever. I have spoken about such a problem myself. Mojo says even he has that problem even with a brother. So a caller called in and said each friendship or relationship has to be weighed and valued differently. You may have resources someone else doesn't.... Like my friends call me the Google Queen plus I am quite crafty and pretty good with graphics. I do tend to get people out of the wood work who just need me to do something on PSP or find something on Google and honestly its irritating because Google (or Swagbucks) and I don't have a special relationship LOL anyone can Google. I do get irritated that you seem to pay 0 attention to me 364 days out of the year except the one time you want me to work a miracle in Paint Shop Pro... don't offer to pay me, want me to use my resources that cost ME money, and don't even act the least bit appreciative. There are a lot of times i want to send people to http://lmgtfy.com/. So yes I may have resources, talent, and knowledge but don't let that make your head big it doesn't come free. Anyways he or she was saying to find a resource that the other friend has that you can use from time to time... How to tell your real friends from users? Call them up, Facebook Message, Or whatever from time to time and say hey I need and it doesn't have to be anything huge or taxing it can be a cup of sugar... if they are your true friend then sugar won't be that much of an effort for them. I LOVE Bartering... I am not such a great baby sitter... I mean I don't kill anyone's kids but I just don't think I am great with kids other than my own but my friend she's GREAT with kids and sometimes my son William is hard to be with but they were like soul buddies from instant. So I may call her to babysit for me which she says she doesn't mind... I do NOT like asking friends to baby sit especially for free. I always feel like the favor is going to hit me in the face. So if I do ask her to babysit I always pay her whatever I can or a very fair and competitive amount. But I also show her I am returning the favor by using resources, talent, and whatever to make her life easier. I don't wait to be asked I just DO IT! I have had a rough few years with some really close relationships... When I left Georgia with the clothes on my back and nothing more and made EVERYONE from coast to coast... well drop their jaws I wasn't even sure my best friend was my best friend anymore. When I was on the verge of leaving and breaking up with my boyfriend at the time she seemed to be more friendly with my boyfriend than me. I always got stuck at home doing mom stuff while he went over there to chill relax drink or whatever. Thankfully she is still one of the best friends I've ever had for the past 10 years. I had another best friend O. and K. they encouraged me to get out of the rotten place I was and follow my destiny but when I got to Alabama... O. got crazy and told Rick I was cheating on him and that I didn't make enough time for her... Those who've read this blog awhile know the story, well that relationship fell apart and I have tried to revisit it but I just don't think its a healthy one. K stayed my friend and we got closer for awhile but then I felt like it started to unravel when I got pregnant with my youngest. Perhaps we were on two different wave lengths... perhaps it was jealousy. Then her life took her down a path where we had one thing in common again and then something happened and I was spooked away again and I have left that relationship where it is.... I had a friend that I have had for off and on for 13 years? A very long time and at the beginning of this year I just kinda felt like I was her cure for boredom and I didn't want to be anyone's cure for boredom... If you want to talk to me or spend time with me it should be because you want to not because your on your 20 minute ride to the doctors office and you want to call me on your way there. in April the shit kinda hit the fan and then she took a path in her life I didn't agree with and she seems to be all about her new life path so we've lost a connection and I am happy for her but at the same time I don't miss what we had. I was finished I think before I knew it. I also had two friends B & B that really burned me about two years ago... I have had a hard time making new friends since then. I hadn't really wanted to I would rather be a loner (which is NOT me I am a very social person) than be that hurt again. I have friends... especially friends that have kids that are friends with my kids... you know you go on play dates or you hang out on occasion... But I kept them at arms length... afraid of the loss again. I haven't completely gotten over that and I am not sure I want to walk blindly over the rope bridge again :/
I had a very wise woman I am acquaintances with once tell me.. in relationships and friendships you don't keep score... I always try to remember that especially when I feel as I do now... burnt out. I know I may be in a better situation that some of my friends so I can give them a helping hand and when they get on their feet perhaps they will return their favor some how... I am not counting on it but perhaps.... I am a little frustrated with the fact is I don't even see some of my friends TRYING. I guess I need to let go and give it to God.

This started out as one blog and transformed into another... Read the next blog about Roaring at Haters!

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