Thursday, October 17, 2013

Random catch up

When I speak or write my thoughts are articulate and well thought out but I've been known to be very random and I have a severe filter malfunction ha!

I haven't had much time to blog lately just a few posts on my private blog. So as I sit in the car line at my daughters school waiting to pick her up I thought I would take time to write. So anyways this will be very random haha

My husband started a blog recently.

Sometimes when I talk to a old friend they reminisce and yeah it was good times no doubt and I don't usually have a problem bringing up the past but as I have mentioned the name of my blog is called Bella's second life. Before 2007 I lived in Georgia I was involved with an addict and just trying to survive. That's a lot different than my life now... Go ahead go to my timeline and pick a blog post before 2007. The other day I was talking to a friend of the "old" Bella. He said what the hell were you thinking with the choices you made especially in men. I used the same excuse as many people do. I replied young, dumb, and naive!
He said I don't think so you were looking for someone, something a certain quality. So now that has me pondering and I know it's true. I don't understand why so many people including someone I thought of as a mother can't be happy about my new life. They don't even give my husband a chance to even get to know him. Why can't they just be happy I've overcome the drama, grew up, and have a good husband. Even if its crappy be happy I'm happy! I don't get it? How can you say I don't belong here if you don't know the new me or my husband. I really feel quite disconnected from my past. I own up to it 100% but I feel like a different person. The only link I have to the past is my best friend Jennifer. I see Jennifer similar struggles and its hard it would be like trying to get your footing and just not being able to keep your balance. She's also different than me she says she could never leave Calhoun, even if it meant a better life. She is happy for me but we are close like sisters and miss each other and it's hard to be the best friend when your bestie needs a shoulder to cry on and you can't give that to her. Electronically just isn't the same. I value this friendship so much.

Anyways train of thought was interrupted when my time was up in the Car Line.

No comments: