I am not without flaws, Lately though my friendships and even my marriage have come into focus and I have struggled with my mental illness and it effects my relationships and vice versa. Years ago with O she would be two faced and be like one person to my face and be another person when my back was turned. With B she took me on a roller coaster like it was a nightmare. With my relationships well its quite a journey and not always a healthy one. With MOST of my relationships with family and friends I don't think I am treated as I deserve. I am a loyal, giving, forgiving, thoughtful friend and I can't say how many people in my life that I can expect to rely on with 100%
Rick and I were play catch up with our churches sermons. Pastor Mark spoke a few weeks ago on friendships and it was very relevant. I know not everyone is a Christian and I respect that but if you could watch/download take a moment and listen to this sermon... it even works on your smart phone. Its a good message about being a friend http://willowbrook.sermon.tv/mc/7504392
Pastor Mark says "Do you serve your friends or do you expect to be served by them? Are you a giver or a taker in your relationships? Are you a blessing to your friends or a user? Have you ever had a friend that's a user? Every time they call they want something?" He goes on to talk about his wife Jan who has a friend that always calls and texts and she always needs something. Jan says she just wishes she would talk. I have friends like this and when they do call to talk. They call to talk about themselves or aren't focused on the conversation so what's the point in having one?
I try to be a supportive friend. I may not agree with you but I still try to be there for you. I even have been known to stick up for you even if I don't 100% agree with it. I don't know if this makes me wrong or right.... but when I say hey I started this new forum? Would you mind joining? Hey I am having this fundraiser or online party.... Do you take a look or do you think pfft I can't afford that? Did you even look? How have you been supportive to me? Have you returned the favor lately? HONESTLY how much is it to send an e-card on my birthday? If you know I am going through some issues or a rough time have you offered to cook a meal or just drop the focus on you for ONE minute to see what is going on in my life.
After my hellish roller coaster with B. I stood up to her and yes she did some things that back fired but I took it blow by blow and was the mature one and just kept my mouth shut. I felt for a minute I was closed out of my own circle of friends then I realized if they did that then they weren't my friends. I learned life lessons that year about friendships. I lost two close friends that year because I wasn't willing to be treated like that. Since then I am learning to let go of friends that don't give as much as they take... Especially when I need space. You expect me to call you but you never have picked up the phone yourself? How about the golden rule of treat others like you want to be treated... try that on for size.