Saturday, February 11, 2012

Overcoming Fear

A few years ago I was in a group therapy setting back in Georgia in my old life. The therapist told a story about an old Lion watching over his pride. Outsiders wouldn't come close because when the old lion would roar it would sound loud and scary. In reality the lion was old and his joints were bad and he just couldn't fight like he used to... The lion had a young son in the pride though who's voice wasn't as strong as his father's but his bite and fight were stronger. The "False Evidence" is the older lion's roar.. it made him appear scary yet there wasn't much fight left in him. This quote and this story has pretty much given me some foundation for my "Second Life." 

I don't know I guess my brain is wired differently. I have anxieties just as much as the next person. I have one type of anxiety dealing with my Post Traumatic Stress that is irrational at times but with my anxieties overall I have them in check most of the time. I had a good friend that had anxieties and my step son struggles with them and I have never fathomed letting fear control me. When I was struggling with depression I had a dream that I was back at my first church Trinity and we were having a lock in and I woke up to see demon's taking my church family that I was extremely close to dragging them out of the church. When I woke up I just said to myself perhaps depression is the devil's way of casting doubt or trying to cloud your mind. From that moment I decided I wouldn't let demon's win. I know I sound like I am over the top and usually I am not but about certain things it just pushes it up to the surface. My feelings that fear shouldn't control me comes from this nightmare... this dream as if it was a direct message from God. I have been through a lot of trials in my life starting from birth, dealing with my parents issues with drugs, abuse, & neglect. Then operations through out my teen years. Domestic Violence as an adult and loosing my first husband and son. Then getting out of another unhealthy relationship. Now finally surviving deployments, being away from Mackenzie and dealing with the new challenges that are set before me. I have never lived my life with fear controlling me. I do what I have to do to get it done or I would have never have made it this far. 

I have talked in my blog about learning to give it to God I am not going to repeat all that again. But just using these tools has helped me overcome fears

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