Sunday, February 5, 2012

Our 5th Anniversary

Before you know it 5 years goes by... so much has happened... so much has changed. We've changed, our children have grown... loving and living life...
My daughter, Skylar, 4 years old this day in 2007

5 years ago the pictures of this sweet little blonde headed round faced girl is hardly recognizable in her red dress and red tights. Now she is almost 10 and growing up quicker than I can blink. In 5 years we have been through a deployment then Alex's deployment, We've bought a car and a house and had a baby. You've retired out of the military and started a career at Northrup Grumman. Five years ago I didn't think this is where we would be but I can't say my dreams haven't come true. Its been a journey and on most journeys through life it isn't always easy but I can bet its worth it!

Rick in 2006 (Korea)
Skylar & I in 2006 in Georgia
In 2006 there was something called Yahoo 360. Sort of a blog... sort of a social networking site. Maybe one of the first? I wrote a blog about sucky life from Georgia. You were bored, newly single, avoiding trouble when you were stationed in Korea. You found it somehow and read it. You would send me comments here and there for about 6 months. Then it came time for you to leave Korea.. You got stationed in Alabama! We chatted some through instant messenger and Yahoo 360. I complained about my horrible relationship and you complained about women afraid of commitment. Your no where love life and as you explained it your downward spiral.  By December the D' Man's addiction got really bad and life for me was pretty hard. My two jobs had cut hours back horribly. D' Man was abusing alcohol and xanax enough to pass out for days. He was getting laid off too they were closing the factory for good. The emotional abuse from him reached a fever pitch and my online support told me I had to leave (once again I was in that situation) that it was horrible for my princess. I saw the green grass out there. I had no idea it was you that my heart wanted. You heard rumors of deployment looming and I was thrown for a loop. I had no idea why it was hard for me to take even if you reassured me it was probably in the Green Zone (probably a lie). I mean I have known plenty of people to deploy and I never felt like this. I would even talk to D' Man about it. I would talk to my two closest friends "O." and Kristin. I told O. and Kristin almost everything. On December 30th I decided I couldn't start another new year with the same drama, the same abuse as I survived once before. I broke it off with D' Man he wasn't taking no for an answer either. I had no place to go either even after I begged my Guardian for help. I tried. After the new year you started to talk to me about house sitting for you while you were deployed. I could take public transportation around Huntsville, watch the house, work wherever I wanted, Skylar would need to be in Pre K or Daycare. We had a plan. We had a plan that if I wanted to live in Huntsville. No strings attached and just stay while you were deployed at least you could help me get on my feet in one way... just a safe shelter there with the boys (Alex and James). Alex was also working at the time. So Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday came which means a long weekend for the Military. You drove to Georgia to meet me and discuss if this was a situation I would like to do on a platonic level. You told the boys you were coming to me and my daughter. I arranged for my sister and her wife to watch Skylar but that quickly turned into a disaster after D' Man found out I was meeting a man. It was truly one of the second worst nightmares of my life and you didn't haul ass back to Alabama. At that point there was sparks there and O. and Kristin had already read some of the emails and stuff and they told me it was Kismet that if I ignored it (which I planned on ignoring it because I didn't want a rebound.) I would be a fool and would regret it if something happened to you when you were deployed. That night I called my guardian which was as close as I had to a mom and told her about the horrible night and I said I planned on moving to Alabama eventually. She was disgusted with me and she didn't agree with it. Certain events happened and it went from eventually to the same day or the next day.
Our first photo together in 2007
So as you say on Martin Luther King Jr's birthday you kidnapped me and brought me to Huntsville.

Alex was very close to leaving for MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Stationand BCT (Bootcamp) adjustments were a bit difficult at first looking back I see a lot of James reactions were pretty sincere and nothing against me or the little 4 year old intruder. Everyone had to get used to having her around. Within a week or so we sat the boys down and James said well... you are getting married aren't you? We wanted to do it before Alex left and before you got orders yourself. Then I planned on us eloping in just a few whirlwind days and we went up to the Chapel on the Mountain and got married in the presence of most of our children and total strangers. After the ceremony we went to Logan's for dinner and enjoyed each other's company. The next day Alex had to leave for BCT for months.
Its funny I looked back on my blogs (myspace and here) to see if I blogged anything when we got married and I didn't blog for the first 4-5 months of our marriage. Most of my Myspace blogs have been erased from the server by the Myspace God's screw you!. Maybe I had them on yahoo 360 and they could be forever lost. Who knows! I know eventually you did get deployment orders. You were leaving for training just 5 months into our marriage. We took trips and went on a marriage retreat of course we were newlyweds there wasn't nothing to fix yet but a lot to learn about marriage and even though it was a second marriage for both of us we both knew we had a lot to learn! When we were in Huntsville you got me comfortable here and comfortable with Military Life. How easily I got it! I fell in love with Huntsville. People said it was the best decision I ever made. I can't deny it has to be one of the best!
On July 22nd you left for Kansas to go to training. It was a rough and tough road at first. I didn't know what to expect and just tried to keep Skylar & myself busy

Even now when I hear a song I listened to during your training and deployment it takes me back to those emotions and those fears. I am SO proud of us. I know not everyone deals with deployment very well and I honestly had my fears since I have abandonment issues and had just dealt with the major blow of loosing a best friend and struggling to hold on to the other all awhile of letting you go without even family to turn to. I had my family a 19 year old away AIT, a 18 year old that well God only knows what he was thinking he was probably unsure and scared, and a 4 year old that seemed more sure about her future than we were. She often verbalized it too. She was so much my rock. You have given me such a foundation and a piece of your heart how could I let you down? 
I couldn't have made it without that little bit of foundation and Skylar's steady strength.
Yet still I listen to some of the lyrics from those songs and I feel the same lows I had, the lonely days, the days where I knew how in love I was with you.
From October 10th 2007- You no longer belonged to me you were 100% property of the US Army on foreign soil. You decided to come home for our first Anniversary. I had totaled your car back in October so we had to buy a new car during R&R not exactly how I wanted to spend my R&R. I had planned an awesome Anniversary though... A night at the Embassy Hotel, A Couples Massage and a Gondola ride.
At the Embassy I reserved the Honeymoon Suite and I snuck in to give it my own touch of romance. We dropped Skylar off at the sitter and arrived at the hotel at dinner at Ruth and Chris. At 4 Am there was a Tornado Siren and we were being evacuated to the lobby. A tornado was overhead... yet the ceiling was made of glass?
The next day we went ahead with our couples massage at the hotel spa. A few days later when the winds calmed down it was safe enough to go on the Gondola. Memories that won't ever fade
You came home to me in October 2008! Within two months we were pregnant with William of course with a pregnancy and new baby things seem to be a whirlwind. I couldn't tell you what we did for our third anniversary other than probably eating at Logans. Our Fourth anniversary was at Melting Pot.
After you came home from Iraq we've had even harder adjustments, even larger hills to climb but we are making it and hopefully its sealing the glue between us.

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