Sunday, November 20, 2011

Fashionista Maxxinista errr Mom Style

Confidence is sexy....

Do you know a person that can pull five ingredients out of their fridge and turn it into a good meal?
Do you know someone who can shop at Good Will and come out looking like Carrie Bradshaw?
I am not those people. LOL I would LIKE to be those people. Perhaps I just don't have the magic fridge or perhaps my Goodwill doesn't get the same donations hehe. What do I have to do to become one of those people? The best I can do is lift ideas for fashion off of a mannequin which doesn't exactly do its thing at Goodwill kwim? The often times anything on a mannequin is high priced and looks ridiculous on a 30 year old something over weight mom. Now here's my thing since having my son two years ago I've let myself go and had some health issues that caused me to gain weight-- no really hypothyroidism is a bitch. So I shop at Kohls.

I used to find stuff I like there but now its kind of going in the whole... They've picked up designers like Lauren Conrad, Jennifer Lopez and Vera Wang. Lauren Conrad doesn't exactly design clothes fit for me... I mean look at her... what does she know about being 30, overweight or being a mom? LOL Jennifer Lopez... ok this one is all of those things except overweight... she had twins at what age and her body is still nearly perfect? Ugh no sympathy from me lady! Maybe Michelle Duggar should design clothes? I could even deal with Kate Gosselin. What I love to wear is T-Shirt's, Jeans, Hoodies, and Sweaters.... NOT usually Fashionista materials lol. Its comfort wear and it hides the flaws that I dread to look at in the mirror. I love a hot find like a cute top/blouse or a nice sweater I can wear out to dinner without looking like I came from a sporting event or in my case an Army Pep Rally. I am the perfect subject for this disgusting fan page on Facebook called Overly Sensitive Military Wives Its difficult for me though... I am on a budget and my long torso its hard to find clothes to cover the big Badonkadonk and the developing dinner rolls. Even if I wasn't over weight it was a problem when I was 110 lbs-- I just didn't care. There is nothing more of a pain in the butt than to constantly tug at your clothes to get them where they are supposed to be. When I do find something at Kohls its usually the fleece pajama bottoms over priced and I don't LOVE it. I also shop at Cato's which can be more affordable and of course there is the old standard of Target. Demin at Kohls always has the slimmer helper that just makes me have mushroom top when I didn't have it before. She my gut looks slimmer but its actually all the way up to my boobs! That's if I shop the misses section. If I shop the Juniors section the denim drops below my butt crack... What 19 year  old girls don't have junk in their trunk? EAT a cheeseburger! Mine came naturally sheesh. I don't like cropped tops so stop making them. I don't have a tattoo I show off or a belly button ring I am over 30 and over that stage in my life. If I am looking sexy underneath my clothes I am not trying to impress the slime balls I am trying to get frisky with my husband. It seems Kohls have three departments... One for Juniors... One for overweight middle aged women.... and one for models that can afford and wear Vera Wang & Lauren Conrad. I love in Cato how I can find clothes that are hip but fit me properly. I need a stylist because I am forever perplexed about what looks good on me! Everything at Target looks better on the rack than on my body but again sometimes I find goodies. If I could have the style that fit my body and my age I would

look similar to Khloe Kardashian. I know she's not a skinny bitch like her sisters. I am not into the animal print though. I got excited when Sears launched their clothing line....but its Southern California Glam nothing even semi casual or made for cooler weather. Not to mention when it was released it wasn't at a Sears price. I loved this shirt that lovely Kourtney is modeling but it was $96~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
I didn't even spend $100 on my wedding dress and I try not to spend so much on 1 outfit. I know I know sometimes you just should. I can get a lot more for my buck buying my kids clothes than I can my own and I guess that's why I just go without.

What would I feel sexy in? A cute top and Jeans with some fabulous boots honestly! I have been trying to get back to feeling like a woman for nearly three years. I went to see Breaking Dawn and I wanted badly to go and look like Alice Cullen and I really came to the realization I am Alice's older overweight sister she doesn't know she has. I did's style its similar to Cato kind of an edge. I used to in my skinny bitch days dress in clothes from Charlotte Russe and Body Shop so I feel like Torrid and Cato are more appropriate for my age and weight. I would like to dress like Khloe in some of her outfits but like I said no animal print. I know she's an animal print whore! Often times if I am hopeless enough in Cato I just ask does this look good on me? Or what do you recommend? I am so hopelessly not achieving a Fashionista knowledge. My kids look fabulous though!
At least Rick thinks of me as one Hot Mama every once in awhile

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