For today's dare, get 2 sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having that characteristic.
There are 2 rooms in the private corners of your heart. One of these is the Appreciation Room. In this room the walls are covered with words and phrases that describe the good attributes of your mate. They include things like "honest", "intelligent", or "diligent worker." When you think about these things your appreciation for your spouse increases. Most of the things in the Appreciation room were most likely written in the beginning stages of your relationship, when you spent a good amount of time dwelling in this room. You could summarize all of the things you liked and respected about your loved one. But you may find you do not visit this room as often as you once did.
In another corner of your heart lies the Depreciation room, and unfortunately you visit there as well. On the walls are written things that bother or irritate you about your spouse. Emotional injuries fester here, adding more scathing remarks to the walls. It is where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness spreads like a disease. People fall out of love here.
Spending time in the depreciation room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room. The more time spent in this room, the more your heart devalues your spouse.
Everyone fails and has areas where they need growth. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. This is a sad aspect of being human.
Love knows about the depreciation room and does not live in denial that it exists. BUT love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. And when our worst hopes are proven true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.
It is time to move to the appreciation room. Settle down and make it your home! As you mediate on the positives, you will learn that many more positive characteristics could be written on the walls. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasures. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by YOU.
You must develop the habit of reigning in your negative thoughts and focus on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision you make, whether they deserve it or not.