Friday, August 20, 2010

Love Dare Day 1 -- meditiation

6:45 am Perhaps I should have started out my day with a prayer. I think I already screwed up the day. Instead I was rudely awoken by the bright light and the pouncing of my one year old as I dreamed about Trinity United Church (The church I was raised in and how it USED to be).

Rick was negative on Skylar since the dawn broke on the day and it gets on my nerves because I wish he was that assertive with all the children. I know I tend to be over protective of my own children and its an instinct for me but when he deserves back up I will give it to him. When he treats the other kids the same I will back him up. I tell him often that Skylar will resent him for this.

So it started at the breakfast table since I have to wait an hour to eat due to my medication I can't eat breakfast with the family. He made eggs and toast for everyone. Of course James was asleep on the couch, Skylar played around with her eggs I guess for a little while then complained they were too cold. Upon going into the microwave then they were too hot. Quite possibly she just didn't want eggs I am not denying it. But he was just yelling at her over and over again. Instead of saying what needed to be said and leaving it alone. So I  intervened told him enough yelling. He got his point across and she can't say anything if he was just going to stand there over her and yell at her. I know I wouldn't. So did I mess up on my first dare not to say anything negative? Thats walking a fine line

Day 2 7:29 am
Yesterday was a very trying day. Rick lashed out at me and said some very hurtful things and I did watch what I say back to him and was trying not to put him down.

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