Friends Don't Let Friends who are Soldiers Deploy alone.
I have been an Army Wife for three years. Shortly after I became his wife he got orders to deploy. I knew I needed to fall into a group of ladies that were experienced in deployment. Lucky me I got an abundance of them. All were experienced not all were your "Claudia Joy"... some were just the ones rooted in drama. Then along came wives who messaged me on line after searching for the profile or found me in some way to help them because their husband deployed and they had no idea what to do with themselves. Some locked themselves in closets hoping that the world around them would disappear. Some didn't even know they had a housing allowance, POA, or Tricare available to them.
I was just sitting here thinking wow this is my first time and I have my boot straps on a little tighter than these other "newbies." I know that I have been to some FRG meetings. I know how they can be informative. I have been through FRG training too. Even though I have only been stationed on a TRADOC post. I have been learning as much as possible before the big event and these poor wives that contact me don't have a clue.
Is it the wife that doesn't live *IN* the Army Life that doesn't even KNOW where the closest Army Post is to her uneducated and inexperienced out of just distance? Therefore I know she's never even been introduced to her FRG (Family Readiness Group). Is the wife left unprepared because the Soldier doesn't educate her or educate himself? Is it due to that it being the soldier its their first deployment? Is it something else?
I see it happen way to much. Its no fault of the Military and not really the fault if the solider is unsuspecting. But you would think that there would be someone out there to tell the soldier about POA (Power of Attorney), House allowances, and other deployment preparations.
Yet again a good friend of mine contacts me as she is hit by the deployment chaos. You know the Murphy's Law of deployments hits. Everything breaks, the LES isn't right, They are still taking out your BAH at your old place. Your left to get by with Ramen Noodles till payday again! You have no idea what to do! Because Soldier and Military Spouse are left unprepared for the ultimate challenge.
I ask of you my fellow Military Wives and Moms. If you have survived your husband's ( or son's) deployment If you know someone who is deploying soon make them your "special case" make sure they have a POA for everything even the things you don't think about. Make sure all the allotments are lined up perfectly. Make sure she has chocolate and wine hidden in her cabinet and stocked up on Care package items with the best numbers to call with the questions. You would do it for the new mom in your life well this is sort of the same. Give her the instruction book of know how for surviving and THRIVING during a deployment. Do her a favor and save yourself an uninterrupted night of sleep because she won't be calling you at 1 am with an urgent question. Give her the gift of knowledge and lend her your battle buddy love from one Military Wife to another.
Bella (Armyknightslady) S
Army Wife to Rick retiring after 24 years of service veteran of OIF
Army "Mom" to Alex veteran of OEF/OIF