Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thoughts of a Dysfunctional Veterans Wife

We saw this on a patch once and we joked whether it meant I was dysfunctional or was he the dysfunctional one. I decided to leave it up to the reader of the patch.

Watching my husband march a few weeks back in the Veterans Day Parade I got a little emotional. Emotional for the pride that I have. I am so so proud of him and Alex too. Both of them are so brave and don't even realize it. Emotional over the times I had to say goodbye as he went to Iraq. Alex going to Afghanistan. Feelings and emotions that an Army Wife can't explain to anyone else. Feelings and emotions she should HAVE to feel. At hte same time I am glad I did. I am thankful for what my love for him has taught me surviving and thriving during his deployment. I learned the true meaning of inner and emotional strength. I learned survival and tough love like no one could ever teach me only I could teach myself.

I had a fabulous time at New Moon with my dear friend and old neighbor Danielle. There was a preview for a movie coming out called Dear John. Again seeing a Soldier deploying and doing what he was taught to do brought me to tears. Duty, Honor, Country... Words I still don't grasp, But I know they are everything to Rick. Sacrafice. If I were to ask you what have you sacraficed this month? Does your answer seem so petty compared to a soldier who says my life for your freedom. I can betcha that alot of Soldiers can say they sacraficed hearing their child's first cries, first words or first steps. I betcha a lot marriages that would have lasted decades broke apart due to a Soldiers Duty. Do we even want to pretend to understand how it feels for them to not comfort us wives and our children during one of the hardest trials of our lives?

I think back on my short time as an Army Wife. I look at Army Wives who've stuck by their husbands through decades of service, 4 or more deployments, countless times where they didn't come home to tuck in their children. Countless times the wives kept watch over their child who is sick in the hospital... alone. Although compared to me I have never had to PCS and move to a different city except this once. I never had to drive days just to get to him. I never gave birth without him by my side. Those are the true Army Wives. The true Military Wives. While the average person complains that her husband can't come home for dinner, or he didn't take out the garbage, or remembered their birthday... at least he was there. I am selfish too... my husband had CQ Duty twice this week and I complained (not too much I knew I had to suck it up, but it sucked none the less) at least my husband came home from his deployment, he came home from Korea the two years before that. He comes home to me every night that he's not pulling duty for the Army. At least he comes home. So many families won't ever have a Holiday with their loved one again. I just missed one Thanksgiving, One Christmas, One birthday... just one. So I try to remember how selfish I am and calm down and just suck it up. I miss him much but he will always come home to me and that should be enough. Shouldn't it?

If you really think about it. The emotions over come you. They do with me and I lived it.

Be Thankful that your husband comes home most nights. If he's gone working be thankful he has a job and is willing to support your family. He works hard and he is always thinking its just not enough. Be thankful this Thanksgiving your husband is there to watch football with his buddies LOUDLY. Some wives would give anything for that sound. Be Thankful you have a wonderful family some of us Military Wives haven't seen our families in years.

Please be sure to remember what you should be Thankful for our freedom to celebrate Thanksgiving a soldier gave us that right. Be thankful for the chaos of Black Friday and be gracious to each other. Pray for our troops serving over seas and their families who are worried about them.

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