Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A telemarketer is having a bad day when

When they call constantly sometimes their end doesn't answer sometimes our end doesn't answer its ALWAYS unknown number unknown caller. They claim they are the visa and master card people. Rick being the person he is has sat there and listened to them for at least 10 minutes. That was several days ago. I decline politely every time I talk to them but the phone calls are getting ridiculous so I just told dude look you call at least twice a day and we've been nice and talked with you. We said no so please take my number off your call list. He said well I am speaking to you now and I said well you talked to my husband and I say no please take my number off your calling list. Hey it could be all in my head but as I hung up I could swear he told me to F off lmao..

This seriously burns me up

A high school student here was killed in an accident a few days ago with her 19 year old boyfriend. There were killed in a car accident because the driver that hit them as they sat parked at a stop light was an illegal immigrant who was driving under the influence. It has been reported in an odd twist of fate Leigh Anna Jimmerson's mother KNEW the person that killed Leigh Anna. The mother is working on a documentary about illegal immigration and how we need to protect these people when they come here. You know what even though the person arrested and charged with killing her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend was driving under the influence and he wouldn't give the police his true identity she still stands by him saying its her faith in God that has taught her tolerance. Oh I pray for this mother! If someone were here illegally and driving drunk... To kill my child I surely wouldn't be protecting them! They would have to protect the person fro ME!! He had a laundry list of priors that he should have been kicked out for! You know we could say its just a bad seed... That he wasn't doing right. But if you get your visa or green card.. OBEY The laws when your here... Then I wouldn't be so pissed off. But I am not just pissed off at the Mexican I am pissed off at the Mother for continuing to stand by him!


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Research Points to Genetic Link in Autism

Research Points to Genetic Link in Autism
Scientists Unlock Groundbreaking Clues in Understanding Genetics of Autism
April 28, 2009—

Scientists have long known that people with autism have brains that work differently -- their brain activity doesn't follow the usual pathways for speech, thought or social interaction. Still, the lingering question has always been: why?

New research published in the online medical journal Nature today offers the best evidence yet that a major part of the answer is genetics.

For the first time, scientists have identified specific genetic mutations that lead to specific abnormalities in how brain cells communicate and carry messages in the brains of those with autism.

"The genes that were discovered appear to be involved in the development of the frontal lobe of the brain ... that is, involved in complex behavior such as social behavior and also abstract thought," said Dr. Geri Dawson, chief officer of Autism Speaks and co-author of the study. "So it helps us understand why people with autism have difficulty in the area of social interaction -- and also why they have a tendency to be so concrete and literal in their interpretation."

Autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder that impairs social interaction, communication and behavior, tends to run in families. According to the National Institutes of Health, families with one autistic child have a one in five chance of having a second child with the disorder.

Scientists have long suspected a genetic underpinning for autism, but have had difficulty finding the link. Previous studies in families with identical twins have found that when one twin has autism, the odds are relatively strong that the other will too.

But the latest research -- one of the largest studies to date -- goes beyond twin studies, using cutting edge technology to examine and compare the DNA from more than 12,000 individuals affected by autism. Scientists pooled data together to gather a sample large enough.

Click Here to Visit the OnCall+ Autism Center and Get Answers From Top Autism Experts.

Research Holds Promise for Future Cure
Erica Romano of Brooklyn, N.Y., volunteered her family for the study. As a mother of two sons with autism, Romano has strong convictions that autism involves genes.

"I have a third cousin who has Aspergers and a first cousin who has PDD/autism," she told ABC News. "I'm really hoping that this study sheds some light on the genetic factor."

By comparing the DNA of those with and without autism, researchers were able to identify several genes related to autism. Scientists say that autism, a complex disorder, could be caused by as many as 50 genes.

The findings point researchers in the right direction toward developing drugs to treat the disorder.

"What we're discovering in this study is that these genes appear to be affecting similar biochemical pathways in the brain, and so then, if we can develop drugs that can help to repair or restore that pathway, this eventually could be extremely helpful as a treatment," said Dawson.

For parents like Romano, the studies hold promise to change the destiny of those with autism by finding a cure. While it won't come overnight, this research opens the door to understanding the genetic mysteries of autism.

"There are so many steps down the road before we can develop these medications," Dawson said. "But this is the first step -- and without this step, we would never get there."

Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures

Easter Pictures 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mustang Marriages

"Understanding the Owner's Manual"

1 Corinthians 13: 1-5

1 Instrument Panel (Check the Patience Guage")
2. Safety seat belt usage (kind spouses have secure children)
Nothing gives our kids a greater sense of security than knowing mom and dad love each other.
3. Develop a good relationship with the mechanic.
"Christ is in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27
"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, paitence, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." - Galations 5:22

Jesus called the HOly Spirit "the Counselor" (paraclotas) John 14:26

The Closer you are to Jesus, the closer you'll be to your spouse.

4. What to do when your car overheats (Turn off the air and the selfishness).

5. How to change a flat (blow outs and blow ups)

v. 5 "Keeps no record" (logizomai) = an accounting word used to describe a book keeper who enters an item on a ledger.

1If I speak in the tongues[
a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

So Mark our Preacher spoke to us just what my favorite verse means. He said I say this at lots & lots of Weddings, but I never talk about how it applys to current day marriage in Sermons till today. This was the bible verse that was supposed to be read at our Wedding but as many people know the Preacher that did our ceremony forgot the first half of the ceremony. Rick and I in our nervousness or whatever totally missed that he forgot... Only James figured it out (the one who DOESN'T and HASN'T Gone to regular church services... haha. So I always say its our vow we say to each other. How little did I know that I didn't follow the vows as much as I thought.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. What its saying love is Paitent in order to have unconditional true love it is paitent (using Patient as a verb).

Defintion of Patient Its used as an Adjective in the english language but Greek's used it as a Verb. The verse in the Bible meaning its a description of what love is... Love is Patient... In order to have love you must be patient. In order to have love you must be kind. Then it goes into the negatives that you must not possess in order to have love. You cannot envy, boast, be proud, rude, selfish or easily angered (aka being Patient you cannot be easily angered) in order to enjoy love. Mark says you fall out of trees not out of love. You cannot wait for the feelings to show themselves to you. You have to make the commitment be faithful and try for the commitment and the commandments of love will be there.

So there are a few points I need to pray about and work on. Outside of Love Dare...I don't know about you but I want the maxium mileage out of my Mustang and I want to hear Varooom not Squeak...

Saturday, April 25, 2009


As soon as we have pictures I will be posting them but for now Rick says I have the camera's and well they aren't on my desk except the old one lol... so when I round up all three and upload the pictures I will be posting them on this very post..

This morning I knew the Catholic Church was having a Yard Sale and we checked several others and then finally went to the Catholic Church and not much to speak of. I did pick up some really inexpensive but very unique clothes for William. The owner told me they were her oldest sons clothes as a baby. The age of her oldest son? 33... One of them was a NASA suit :) That was at a community yard sale.

Then we went out to Panoply it was hot today and there was alot to do and see at Big Spring Park. My body isn't used to that much walking either but I fought through it and drank plenty of water. We enjoy going to the festival... and better yet the best part of festivals (other than family time?) Funnel Cakes...
Pictures of Skylar playing drums...

Inside the mind of a child with autism

Inside the mind of a child with autism

Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse April 16, 2009 02:43 PM
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 out of 150 kids have autism, an increase from previous estimates. With autism now more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined, if your child isn't on the autism spectrum, chances are good that he or she knows (or will eventually know) someone who is.

April is National Autism Awareness month. We've discussed autism in general and resources for children and adults with ASD, but how do you help your child interact or socialize with someone on the spectrum?

Start by shattering the Rainman myth: Autism may be characterized by varying degrees of impaired social interaction or communication, but a little insight can go a long way toward making social situations easier. For example: "Birthday parties are an ideal way to introduce an autistic kid and his parents to your home," Paul Collins writes in Cookie Magazine, where he offers tips on hosting an child with autism. "They're the stuff he finds logical: presents, cake, things to climb on. What's not to get?"

Ellen Notbohm is the author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, and The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, all ForeWord Book of the Year finalists. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world.

The mother of a child with autism and another with ADHD, Notbohm's books provide an enlightening glimpse into the minds of children on the spectrum, and have been an eye-opener for many people who are coping with a new ASD diagnosis or wondering how to interact with a child with autism. This excerpt is from Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and is posted here with permission from the author (please contact her for permission to reproduce in any way, including re-posting on the Internet).

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
By Ellen Notbohm

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute -- the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.

Autism was once thought an “incurable” disorder, but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.

Autism is an extremely complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly – every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.

Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:

1.) I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.

As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?

2.) My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:

My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.

Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.

3.) Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4.) I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5.) Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6.) Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.

I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.

7.) Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.

8.) Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.

I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”

9.) Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.

Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.

10.) Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They may have had autism too.

The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?

All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.

© 2005 Ellen Notbohm.To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit

Lylah M. Alphonse is a Globe staff member and mom and stepmom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat. E-mail her at

Friday, April 24, 2009


I finally wasn't awake all night LOL. I woke up at midnight (normal pregnancy potty time) then I woke up again at 4 am. I threw up and my hip was throbbing. So I laid in bed while Rick got ready for formation. I just laid on my heating pad and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. I finally fell asleep and woke up at 5:33 panic'd about Rick not being at formation (he was already gone lol) Then I was mad because I need sleep and I knew my alarm would go off at 6 am. Normal 6 am schedule is to get Skylar's clothes out for school then get her out of bed, fed her, dress her, make sure I can send her into public without DFACS being called or embarrassing myself (it wouldn't embarrass her or Rick in the least lol) Between being sick and in pain while Rick is on no PT profile he has been able to help me with her she is a slow goose in the morning. Then either I have time with Rick but this morning I laid on the heating pad and eventually went back to sleep woke up very very sweaty yuck! So I think I will take it easy if I can today.

Love Dare and Parenting

So I am on Day 6 of Love Dare me thinks lol...
I apparently inspired a friend of mine that lives locally to also do it. We both thought it would be an interesting idea if we had a parenting love dare... I was wondering if I can get some help coming up with daily dares that possibly fit all ages of our children (or not) and see if we can do our own little parenting love dare?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Kitty Flush reminds me of Tink lol

The Copier Bitch *slight adult content*

Sleep Walking errr Chasing Dog

Military WIfe

I tend to say I am not a good Military Wife because I feel guilty for not supporting in this final year of your service. I am not a good Military Wife because I am not cooking for the FRG or bringing sandwhiches up to you while your working on on CQ Duty. I think I have written before when I look amongst MY Ranks.. Ranks of Officer Wives that stand tall, PFC wives that make sure food is kept on the table with four hungry mouths to feed on a meagar paycheck. They have to work usually under those circumstances. I didn't want to work while you were deployed worried about dealing with the stress of it all. I read stories and wonder how much a World War, Korean, or Vietnam war wife went through. I realize what you've done on your deployment. How easy you did make things for me. How all I had to do was hold on, be there, be faithful, and hold our house together. I see wives here that cheat, lie, and just don't support their husband. Whether he is a Soldier or not.

I also see the other side of the coin where the Soldiers don't realize what we go through waiting. Waiting for you to call, write, send any inkling that your alive. If they do call its about the Army and what we need to do for you over here or how disconnected ya'll get being over there. We often hear the Civilian attitude how they do the same. Maybe in some ways but if they've never been there then they just don't KNOW. They act like we are dramatic that we can get through it. When we fight to wake up the next day so the kids can eat. There are some who don't know how we get through a weekend and some don't comprehend a 6 month deployment, 8 month deployment, 12 month deployment, 18 month deployment... or longer... That we are lucky to see you for two weeks total out of that entire year.

It all boils down to the LOVE and Pride we have for our hero. Its what we do to make sure you do your job well, you let us continue to have freedom and you come home safe.

Many days I am sure us wives want to throw in the towel because your being "disconnected" that your struggling with God knows what.. We are struggling too and we can't see how your struggling as well. Thats when we get stressed out, lonely, crying, and frustrated and we have to gather up strength and push down the pain to stay strong for you and the kids. I was lucky to have two ends of the spectrum those who show me how to get it done and how NOT to do it. But that was just a part of it. Having that love for you to come home too (waiting for you to come home too it) is what gets us through each deployment.

I may not be a GREAT Military Wife but I can be a STRONG Military Wife.

The Military Wife VIDEO

Updates on the Family

Rick returned to work. Monday he had Peridontal Surgery and was on rest for three days. He's still hurting a bit and not able to chew correctly. Poor baby. My sciatic nerve is still hurting. I woke up at 1 am with a knot the size of a softball in my back. Rick literally fell asleep with his fist putting pressure on it and I could go back to sleep for a little while. Now my hip is just stiff and sore... Ugh its going to be a rough 100 days... I am doing Love Dare
Alex sent a brief email to let us know he was still alive and got yahoo messenger. James has the day off today and he's still asleep he was a bit grumpy yesterday. Skylar went on a field trip today to the Railroad Museum and I feel HORRIBLE about not being able to go with her. Little William is still cooking away I went to the OB on Wednesday and he is measuring two weeks ahead and his heart rate is 150 heart beats per minute.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Short updates

News in the Baby's blog
I am on Day four of my Love Dare blog... are you reading along? Trying things out?
ahhh lack of sleep and I forgot what to write... Anyways :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ft Campbell Today

Today is the day of Rick's start of his procedures done on his mouth. I think they are going to do a couple of local's then he will need the good juice. So we are a bit nervous with it all. We had a long day yesterday we went to church and are enjoying the Mustang Marriage message that Pastor Mark is talking about. Its about small maintence before huge repairs. Its true.. we've known it. Then after church we drove up here and it was a long drive with a lot of hard rain and we saw two bad accidents on the way. Pray for these families. We will be heading home today after enjoying a little shopping or window looking and some lunch and swimming. We shouldn't be stopping in Nashville except to stretch our legs. Oh yeah and last night I literally slept the entire night without coughing... strange huh? Hopefully since my antibiotics are gone that the infection is clearing up.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Scary Night

Wednesday I developed this bronchitis it seemed over night it just hit me. Ever since then I wake up in coughing fits at 11-1 am and 4 am everyday. Last night I woke up at 10:30 and literally coughed until 1 am, Its almost like I have pregnancy onset asthma attacks. I coughed and coughed and I couldn't get air in between. I tried everything I couldn't even suck on a cough drop long enough for it to sooth because I would cough and choke on it. Of course being 6 months pregnant with an already bad bladder I would pee myself everytime I would cough and have a fit. I know its TMI but It was a very long night and if I could have breathed I would have hailed fire and brimstone at Rick who seemed to wake up with the wha wha? What do you need? Then go back to sleep. At 2 am I had to finally give in and take the Phenergran with Codeine that the OB prescribed but the Codeine is so dangerous I was afraid I wouldn't wake up or I would stop breathing. At many points in the middle of the night I thought about calling the OB. Tonight now we go to Kentucky and I am afraid of being so far from home. I guess I will have to take the Codeine with me. It just seemed all night I couldn't catch my breath. During the day I don't really cough a lot. Please pray that the baby is safe from the Codeine and that if I have to take it again no harm will come and I can breathe well till I come home.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Motivation for Moms

Be an example to your children of one who loves her neighbor as herself through random acts of kindness. Lend a helping hand to a busy neighbor, or take time out of a busy day to simply say hello....

I just caught this on the widget of my blog and how True. Skylar loves all our neighbors and wants to see inside each of their houses (creepy 6 year old I raise she must get it from Rick lmao) I will have to extend my hand since I am still working on getting the voice back more often.


I went to the AER car show and then got my fake nails pulled off to reveal such healthy long ones underneath what a shocker lol. Thank you baby Will. Now I am going to lay down and work on my love dare... I updated my bloggy about it
IE keeps being a crapper on me so I can't make it fancy like the others.

I am fireproofing with Love Dare

Wanna read along?

Friday, April 17, 2009


We had a rough night last night. I immediately felt regretful for my actions. I did realize two causes of my actions are 1. my wounds that his decisions dealing with the family still are very open and real. 2. I am "damaged". Alot of what I do when it comes to Rick is a product of my abusive relationship of 5 years. Its no more fair to Rick to chew him out for scars from the previous as well as the other 27 years of my life and Borderline Personality Disorder... than it is for him to expect me to accept his decisions without my feelings in regard to staying in the Military and the priorities for this family. However I know alot of this drama is caused from both sides from not healing enough before getting involved with each other. So we have to not only face the challenges of marriage but challenges of working together a life of understanding that we both have a lot of repairs that need to be done. So yes you understand now that we have more challenges ahead than just the average marriage and as long as Rick and I can both accept the challenges of marriage (second ones at that), that we both come in some sort of damaged package, the military brings on its own challenges, as well as dealing with the chemistry of having a blended family and a new child together. I want to apologize to Rick but he isn't home from work yet. I am apologizing in my blog because I know he will read it at some point at least on Myspace.

Last night I started having braxton hicks for the first time in my life. A bit scary but after three pregnancies at least I know I wasn't in harm. They were painless just uncomfortable and more uncomfortable for the baby. I had to get the braxton hicks to calm down then I had to get the baby to go to sleep so I could finally drift off. That was for about 30 minutes before I woke up coughing so hard I didn't have a chance to catch a breath. I got about 4 hours of peaceful sleep till I woke up from another coughing fit. Again I coughed so hard I choked on a halls.. ha.

All morning the look on Rick's face last night has been playing in my head and shaking me to my core. A little piece of me died. I know I hurt him and I hurt myself. Everyone is frustrated at the situation. I am not alone at being angry at the situation. But you can't fight the military and you can't cry over spilled milk. You pick up you move on and you try not to repeat the mistakes that were made. I am just afraid that one day trying isn't going to be enough... thats how it was in the past.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Love Dare day 1

Rick and I thought the idea was interesting and much like we tried while he was in Iraq with another book. Well we got to Dare #1 and didn't follow up with #2... So I will be winging it again on my own. I need a little more faith in my marriage and to regain some strength and Zen if you will. So I might be sharing with you all my daily progress. There is a military version too so I will be trying to find that book and read it as well. Because I have no choice but to be HOOAH Military wife for the next year I might as well not make Rick miserable in the process. Of course starting at Midnight the first dare is to not say anything putting down Rick in any way.

The first part of the dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation aries choose not to say anything. It is better to hold your tongue than say something you will regret.

my feeling...

is having a hard time being understanding of the Army's needs right now

Monday, April 13, 2009

Autism Awareness

We've run into a new conflict with James. I have been very Autism "Aware" since Kristin and Ryan came into my life and have had it in my life before them. I started to absorb and learn. Why? I don't know why? My love for learning new things, I read things to understand them instead of turning the ignorant cheek. Slowly more children with PDD, High Functioning Autism or Aspbergers, and even one friend of my sisters who has an 8 year old son who was diagnosed at the age of three with Aspbergers but as he got older he started to develop more severe symptoms that was more signs of classic Autism. I remember one event where Chase was so lost and I felt as frustrated and lost as he did and very helpless. Most of the children in my life with ASD have been boys but one was a girl and she grew up next door to me. Those of you who've known me for the life of Bella's mommy Chat remember the issues I had with my first husband. Have to say I have never seen the light in his eyes like when he was a teacher for Aspbergers. These are the memories I have about Aspbergers.. When James my step son came into my life I was told he MAY have BiPolar. His mother said more so than his father. Soon after Rick and I got married James stopped taking his medications for Bipolar. Yet no symptoms of bipolar persisted through some HELLISH times dealing with two deployments between Rick and Rick's oldest son Alex. James had more break downs than bipolar symptoms. Which made me suspect Aspbergers... I asked his parents about his development and neither parent remembered anything significant. I know James didn't want to be branded with Bipolar but his biological mom never stopped with this and often brought it up. Toward the end of the deployment I knew that Rick and I needed help for James. 21 years old with little to no life skills. What he did know I helped teach him. I taught him how to cope. I pressured him into a job. So I decided all my hard work wasn't going to waste. I was going to sign up for Family therapy. So when Rick rejoined the family. I would already have programs in place to help if there was any PTSD symptoms, and as normal most Soldiers have issues rejoining a family and finding their place in the things that had developed since they were gone. I KNEW this would be a major problem for Rick. Within three appointments the therapist already suspected James of Aspbergers and brought it up to me. I jumped right on her band wagon. It took another session to let James know we were branding him with a new diagnosis and what the new diagnosis meant. Unfortunately James still doesn't like to be branded even with what I see as a BETTER diagnosis. He thinks having Aspbergers means your slower or dumber. I have tried to take this idea out of his head but he won't even talk about Aspbergers outside of therapy. April is Aspberger Awareness month and a lot of people have approached me lately about what Autism is. They are surprised as I am about the lack of knowledge with Autism that they have. At the end of March I was on the search for autism Awareness graphics for actually my graphics site and to make things for Myspace. Rick has to write a paper for school about something that effects him. Medical was one of his options. Since he has a lack of knowledge as do many people around me have about James condition. This really upsets James since he doesn't want to know about autism. He doesn't want to cope with Aspbergers. He doesn't want anything to do with it. This is a foreign concept to me. With every surgery I have had which is ALOT, with every diagnosis I have had I submerge myself in research and learn about it so its not foreign thing someone just put on my back. Its a way to see if the diagnosis really does match me, if the treatment is fitting or if there is something I can do differently, etc. I have done this since I was 12 years old. Can you learn to cope and help yourself with this condition without wanting to deal with the fact you have it in the first place? I haven't found a abundance of knowledge about support for Parents or those who are adults living with Aspbergers. Rick found this awesome workbook I think the worksheets can help James and us out a lot if he was willing.
I am proud of Rick for his willingness to learn and help James cope with his condition. He admittedly wants to learn more especially since we are faced with the chances of the new baby having Autism too.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Virtual Dartboard

I am not your Virtual Dartboard. If you need something to piss on and go off on then feel free to click this link
Otherwise I am pregnant under enough of my OWN pressure and stress I don't need your BS too. If your hurt by me then tell me. If your pissed at me be honest with me but if your just going to sit there and make excuses or smart ass comments I am not in the mood to hear them. I am not in the mood for apologies unless they are sincere. Being sick is no excuse to treat other's like poo. I don't feel good and I can really be a bitch.
I have had medical professionals put me in a bad enough mood the past two days then an incompetent school who doesn't tell me if my daughter is on a bus or somewhere safe during a Tornado Warning? All I know is its time for my daughter to be home and I can't seek shelter and the siren's are going off. I can't go into shelter because I don't know where my daughter is. She is supposed to be on a bus or already at home and an incompetent school can't call parents to let them know they won't release the children?
Do I have someone there to calm my fears? Nope I get smart ass comments then too.
I don't think I act like I piss on the world. I still show care and concern. Since everything I say comes out like I PISSED YOU OFF then I can just sit in time out like a 5 year old and request to be left alone. And you guessed it I don't really fucking care...

Friday, April 10, 2009

A Nightmare called Fox Army Medical

Those of you who have been my readers have read about my fights with Fox early in my husband's deployment last year. Well the nightmare continues. Last year the problem was with the doctors I got placed with and now they mess with my daughter. Ok so you've heard of Bridezilla? I am Momzilla! Don't push this MAMA BEAR or she pushes back and she takes no crap and no excuses. I have been sick nearly my entire life and been in and out of hospitals so much I can usually SMELL a quack. So don't try to push one over on me.

Yesterday... Read the Blog ITS LONG

Today I take Skylar in and 9:30. Nurses are sweet as pie as usual. I even tell them about my issue with the contracted Appointment desk. She goes to talk to Barbara Williford. Now us who have been waiting spouses here in the past 2 years know who she is. I've had my share of problems with her as well. But today she told the nurse that the lady who took my appointment yesterday had already put in her resignation. (Funny how yesterday the Supervisor claimed it wasn't on my file WHO took the appointment) That I was welcome to call her to discuss the incident with her. I saw the name and was like yeah uh huh sure... I would probably get some where faster talking to God himself. I told her not to worry about both Skylar and the new baby would be going off post as soon as I found a doctor off post. She pleaded that Dr E was the best and I would have to wait for a long period of time at any other doctor. I was like oh all right well we will see. Rick is over there falling asleep and I said Don't FALL asleep. I really needed his support. Dr E comes in and does her examination. Now on April 1st when Dr E saw Skylar she had a test on her ears and it came out normal. She had the same test today.. Again its normal. Skylar has been running a low grade fever of 99.? And she has been on Zyrtec and a Humidifier for a week BEFORE April 1st. After April 1st she was taking Zyrtec, Singular, Ammox.. And the humidifier. Still she isn't better and she is complaining about her ear MORE. Dr E told me on the first once she was taking the meds her sinus's would dry up and the cough would stop. Okay. Well she hasn't had a runny nose but she has the dry cough. I said to the doctor her ear infection must be getting worse. She said how do you know? I said well she's complaining more and still coughing. So she checked her ears and she said her ears are both perfect. She has no ear infection see if you don't believe me I will show you and she handed me the graphic (the test results from the test they took that day and the 1st) I wanted to kick Rick in the crotch for not saying anything and not standing up for me after I have felt beaten and battered by These people. AGAIN a waste of my time to walk out of there without a reason... Just here is yet a THIRD allergy medication to add to the other THREE she's already taking. So that makes FOUR medications to be taken over the course of at LEAST a month for a SIX year old RIDICULOUS!
We go to the front desk to get our doctors note we ask for one for yesterday and one for today. They said the nurse has to sign off on it. Then it gets sent to Dr E who refuses to sign off on it. NOW Rick decides to nag. The infamous Mrs Williford who I didn't recognize takes it to the Deputy Commander to sign. She wants to speak to me. But at this point I am VISABLY upset (again doesn't take much for a woman this pregnant to get VERY angry) I pass on talking to her because Rick wants to get Skylar to school and back to work and I know if I were to speak in that state of mind it would get U-G-L-Y....So we wait to get the approval of the doctors excuse from the deputy commander. When I get upset my face gets splotchy and red and so its apparent to many people in the hall way I am just a ticking time bomb. I just keep saying lets get it and GO I will take the absence. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to talk about it anymore I am trying to control my stress level and blood pressure...
I come home and call Tricare to change her PCM permanently so I never have to see Dr E again. They ask why if I had a complaint. I was like OH YEAH. They said well do you want to tell us about it? I said sure. *chuckle* He said is it a failure of availability. Un professionalism by the doctor or by the office staff. I said UM ALL THREE! So I went through all the same bs again with the Tricare guy and he would put in to get Skylar assigned temporarily to another PCM at Fox which is fine as long as its not TWO of the doctors up there. I gave them my choices and they can pick from that. If not and even if they do I will be taking the kids down to Tricare Standard and going to an off post Peditrician or Family Physician.

I feel so unvalidated that I am just Momzilla and over reacting to the way I have been treated. I am very PTSD when it comes to my kids safety. I am very protective. VERY and I don't like this crap AT ALL.

They are playing with my PTSD in overdrive today now its a Tornado Warning and YUP I am on the computer because Skylar is on a school bus right now on her way home from school.... I would be scared of what I might do if I wasn't pregnant.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

This is supposed to be the BEST medical available in the world?

have been stationed in one place for over two years. I have had a BIG share of problems with Fox Army Health Center. During my time as a waiting spouse. I was told we had an advocate that would give us priority. I got disgusted with her BAD attitude and just called the regular appointment line and didn't have a problem for awhile. THIS is after I complained that several doctors refused to give me a referral to a bone specialist to monitor my arthritis. I totally disagree with the way they speak to patients. I disagree with how the patients are treated. I don't think they would get a lot of business in the civilian world. I have been told by a Patient Care Representative. That being a Waiting Spouse I just wanted special attention. I then got a hold of the COL over Fox's number and I had a doctor call me back and just think it was in my best interest if I didn't see a doctor at Fox and go off post for a civilian PCM. I brought this up to some people's attention around post. I was told that is ILLEGAL. I was told I must be making it up or over reacting. I could care less. My daughter is rarely ever sick enough for me to have her seen. I can treat allergies but when they linger or cause discomfort that's when I seek help. On the 1st of April she was seen by a pediatrician at Fox and the Pedi said she had a slight ear infection. She also had allergies that were draining which caused the cough. Give her meds, dry up her sinuses and it should all clear up. So since the first Skylar has been on Amoxicillian, Singular, and Zyrtec. The antibiotic against my better judgement I just don't believe in them but I am giving it to her. Over a WEEK later.... TODAY I call to make her another appointment because she isn't getting better. Her cough isn't going away and frankly I am tired of every time I take her in being told she has allergies and them sending her away. Its a waste of both of our time because she is on Zyrtec almost ALWAYS when a cough starts she gets the humidifier. The moment she has to leave a humidifier she is coughing up a lung again. Today Fox closes early for training. I realized that before I called but I was also told LAST WEEK. If she wasn't getting better to call back and get a doctors note. So that's why I called to get an appointment (for anytime, and a doctors note)I spoke to the appointment desk and as I predicted no appointments available at all today amongst ALLLLLL the doctors and PCM's at Fox. Alrighty then they transfer me to a nurse to see if I could at least get a doctors note for school. The nurse spoke to me this morning on two occasions. Telling me she would REALLY like Skylar to be seen. Each time my pleas went unanswered to the appointment desk. I call the nurse back and tell her they said nothing was available for Friday or Thursday. She looked and there were two ACUTE appointments available for Skylar's PCM (which I would have loved for her to see someone else but at this point I wasn't picky.) Dr. E's nurse gave me the ACUTE appointment times for these appointments. Explained to me they don't show up till 24 hours before the appointment time. I was supposed to call Fox at 9:30 or 10:10... To make the playing field even I decided to chance it at 10:35... The appointment desk decides to ARGUE with me. They have a bad attitude! I get upset and frustrated (HEY I am pregnant it doesn't take anything lmao much lesss MUCH) I try to stay polite and calm and tell her I already spoke with the nurse available at this extension several times and she said there was an Urgent Care (or I couldn't remember the phrase) appointment available at 9:30 or 10:10 that they wouldn't show available to the appointment desk until 24 hours prior. Of course they think I am lying. Don't they always because I call them up every hour just to bug harass and otherwise LIE to these MORONS. She said HMM I will have to speak with the supervisor about it. I said why don't I speak to them? She said oh look we have a 9:30 cancelation for Dr E. YEAH FREAKING RIGHT... NOW who's lying? I made the appointment and she then proceeded to argue between DIAGNOSES and SYMPTOM. I said my daughter was seen on the first she had an ear infection and allergies. She is NOT getting better the nurse wants her seen again. They argue. You don't KNOW she has an ear infection um YES I DO. After SEVERAL phone calls back and forth I get the mysterious 9:30 am appointment that was a sudden cancelation at the same time as I ask to speak to a supervisor. I call my husband to complain. Of course he's in freaking busy army mode... UGH and I call back to speak to THE supervisor and she's JUST as RUDE and DENIES it ever happened. WTH!
ALL BE DAMNED If I trust them with my newborn's health. I WILL be finding a civilian Peditrician... PAYING for a co-pay... and taking both of my kids to them. ASAP!

If you've ever been to the free clinic down town... this is how I am OFTEN treated at Fox Army Health Care... My kids will be going standard because the care could be very dangerous!!! HMO's SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK SUCK
Thank You Mrs Hilary Clinton!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Free Park admission

Disney Parks Celebrate U.S.
With Free, Multi-day Admission to Theme Parks in 2009

5, 2009) – As Disney
Parks ask “What will you celebrate?” and invite guests to turn their personal
milestones into magical family vacations in 2009, America’s military personnel
will have one more reason to celebrate: Free multi-day admission to Disney’s
U.S. theme parks.

With the “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” offer, active and retired U.S.

military personnel, including active and retired members of the United States
Coast Guard and activated members of the National Guard or Reservists, can
enjoy complimentary, multi-day admission into Disney’s U.S.
theme parks, great
rates at select Walt Disney World Resort and Disneyland Resort hotels,
and additional special ticket offers for family members and friends.

“For so many of the men and women who serve in our U.S.
military, time
together with their families is cause enough for celebration,” said Jay Rasulo,
chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts.
“We are grateful for their service
and hope ‘Disney’s Armed Forces Salute’ will allow our troops to create
wonderful, magical memories with their family and friends.

At the Disneyland Resort in Southern California:
Through June 12, 2009, each active or retired member of the U.S.
can receive one complimentary three-day “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” Park
Hopper ticket valid for admission to both Disneyland and Disney’s California
Adventure parks. During the offer period, active or retired U.S.
military personnel
also may make a one-time purchase of an adult or child three-day “Disney’s
Armed Forces Salute Companion” Park Hopper ticket for up to five family
members (including spouse) or friends for the price of an adult 1-Day Park
Hopper ticket.

Disneyland Resort hotels are also offering special room rates for active or
retired military personnel.
For example, at Disney’s Paradise Pier Hotel, active or
retired members of the military and their families may find hotel rooms starting at
$119 per night during value season, with great savings during other times of the
offer period.
This offer is available through June 12, 2009, and the number of
rooms available at these special rates is limited.

For information regarding “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” at the
Disneyland Resort, or to make reservations, military personnel may call 714/956-

At Walt Disney World Resort in Florida:
From Jan. 4 to Dec. 23, 2009, each active or retired member of the U.S.

military may obtain one complimentary 5-day “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute”
ticket with Park Hopper and Water Park Fun & More options.
This ticket is valid
for five days of admission into the four Walt Disney World theme parks, plus a
total of five visits to a choice of a Disney water park, DisneyQuest Indoor
Interactive Theme Park or certain other attractions.
During this offer period,
active or retired U.S.
military personnel may also purchase up to a maximum of
five 5-Day “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion” tickets (one theme park
per day) for $99 per ticket, plus tax, for family members (including spouse) or
Although this ticket for family members and friends does not include
either the Park Hopper or Water Park Fun & More options, this ticket can be
upgraded to add either such option, or both, for an additional $25, plus tax, per
option. All tickets and options are non-transferable and must be used by Dec.
2009. Actual prices may be less.

Ask about the great rates that may be available at select Walt Disney
World Resort hotels for active or retired U.S.
military personnel during this offer

For information on the “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” offer at Walt
Disney World Resort or the Disneyland Resort, or to make reservations, active
and retired U.S. Military personnel may call the ITT office on their base.

Information about “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” offer at Walt Disney World
Resort is also available at

Through the years, The Walt Disney Company has demonstrated its
support of United States’ servicemen and women through a variety of initiatives.

Disney’s support for the U.S.
Marines’ Toys for Tots program started 58 years
ago – when Walt Disney became one of the original sponsors.
Since 1995,
Disney’s Operation Uplift program has sent over 90,000 postcards to troops
worldwide, thanking them for their service. The company also supports U.S.

service members and their families as a sponsor of the USO and its centers.

Each year, Operation Disney Care packages, containing Disney DVDs, books,
magazines and games, are sent to centers around the world to help entertain the
servicemen/women and their families, Disney Minnie Grants are used to host
family appreciation events, while Disney VoluntEARS donate many hours
participating in local USO projects.

Other Offer Details:
• Complimentary "Disney’s Armed Forces Salute" tickets may be obtained only by active or
retired U.S.
military personnel, including activated members of the National Guard or Reservists
and active or retired members of the United States Coast Guard. Spouses are not eligible.

• Complimentary “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute" tickets for admission to the Walt Disney World
Resort can be obtained only at participating U.S.
military base ticket offices (including at the
Shades of Green Resort at the Walt Disney World Resort), or at Main Entrance theme park ticket
Those tickets at Main Entrance theme park ticket windows in order to use these tickets
(no more than 1 such complimentary ticket per service member will be activated).

• Please see a participating U.S.
military base ticket office for an exchange certificate for the
complimentary “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” ticket for the Disneyland Resort.
The exchange
certificate will need to be redeemed for such ticket by the active or retired military personnel at a
Main Entrance theme park ticket window (maximum of 1 such complimentary ticket per service

• "Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets for family members and friends may be
purchased only by active or retired U.S.
military personnel, including activated members of the
National Guard or Reservists and active or retired members of the United States Coast Guard (or,
in each case, their spouses, but not both).

• "Disney's Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets for admission to the Walt Disney World
Resort can be purchased only at participating U.S.
military base ticket offices (including at the
Shades of Green Resort at the Walt Disney World Resort), or at Main Entrance theme park ticket
“Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets for admission to the Disneyland
Resort can be purchased only at participating U.S. military base ticket offices.

• Military personnel (or their spouses) who purchase "Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion”
tickets for admission to the Walt Disney World Resort for family members and friends will need
to activate those tickets at Main Entrance theme park ticket windows in order for those tickets to
be used (regardless of where those tickets are purchased).

• Military personnel (or their spouses) who purchase "Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion”
tickets for admission to the Disneyland Resort for family members and friends will receive
exchange certificates to be redeemed by such military personnel (or their spouses) for tickets at
Main Entrance theme park ticket windows (one ticket per exchange certificate).

• The military personnel (or spouse) will be required to present valid military identification for all
ticket transactions (including to activate tickets, and/or redeem exchange certificates for tickets, at
Main Entrance theme park ticket windows). A valid ID may also be required for admission.

• "Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion” tickets are limited to five per service member
(regardless of place of purchase and whether purchased by service member or spouse).

Accordingly, no service member (or spouse) will be permitted to activate, and/or to redeem
exchange certificates for, more than a total of five
"Disney’s Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets for the Walt Disney World or Disneyland
Resort (regardless of whether activated or exchanged by the service member or spouse).

• First day of use of “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” complimentary tickets and "Disney's Armed
Forces Salute Companion" tickets at the Disneyland Resort must be no later than June 12,
2009, and tickets expire 13 days after the first day of use or June 25, 2009, whichever occurs
Last day of use on “Disney’s Armed Forces Salute” complimentary tickets and "Disney's
Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets at the Walt Disney World Resort is Dec. 23, 2009.

• Tickets must be used by the same person on any and all days.
"Disney’s Armed Forces Salute"
complimentary tickets may be used only by the service members to whom they are issued.

"Disney's Armed Forces Salute Companion" tickets may be used only by the friends and family
members for whom they are purchased.

• This offer may not be combined with any other offer.

“What Will You Celebrate?”
Military personnel taking advantage of this offer will find even more to
celebrate during their stay.
Beginning now, Disney Parks is embracing a newly
identified nationwide travel trend called “celebration vacations,” in which
Americans mark special occasions in their lives with a family vacation.

In 2009, Walt Disney World Resort and Disneyland Resorts ask guests
“What Will You Celebrate?” and lead this growing trend with new entertainment
and services that allow guests to turn their personal milestones –a birthday, an
anniversary, QuinceaƱera or any special occasion – into magical Disney