I wrote a blog back in June 07 and it was posted on Myspace as well as here
Army Wife vs Civilian Life On Blogger
About the differences in between Military Life and Civilian Life. Since I originally posted this blog my husband was deployed for a year. I am so happy to have him home with me now. I know I am what would be considered a "lucky" Military Wife. Since we've been married my husband has yes been deployed for 12 months. Went to Training for three months straight. But he doesn't go out to the field for exercises which can be two weeks long. My husband has had CQ Duty and CAO duty. I am fine with that although at times its felt like torture... That's because I am spoiled. I am spoiled by my husband and his presence.
Right now I know I am being a whiny spoiled highly hormonal and emotional Army Wife. But something I've struggled with my husband is his commitment to the Army. He's an extremely commitmented Soldier who feels weird and it doesn't feel right for him to NOT being in formation, for him to try to get the orders he needs instead of what he is issued. If its 7 am to 4:30 pm Monday through Friday on a normal work week you won't catch him out of uniform. You will be hard pressed to catch him out of his office at all. My husband is dutiful and well in the civilian world he might be your average workaholic a bit. So I am not saying he isn't committed to the Army but I think he can show just as much of a commitment to his family and his marriage.
Hold on... It doesn't compute!! In the bible it says God first, Family (Marriage) second... In the Army its DUTY HONOR COUNTRY.... Where does God and Family fall in. This right they said if they wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one.
I am not your Army Issued Wife... I've had people tell me that's bull but I truly believe I am not a good Army Wife. I do everything MY Soldier needs me to do (except my crying temper tantrums.) I don't believe I would be good at PCSing hell we can't even agree to move off post! I am a delicate flower I bloom where I am planted. I don't have his dedication to the country. OH I am patriotic but not like Rick. I tell him sometimes I know your brain takes care of the Army so let me be the thinker for the Family. Its so true though because I would go to the ends of the earth to protect our family. This includes All three of the boys, Skylar, Peridot... and the sanctity of our marriage. If that means what's best for this family is to retire from the Army then I don't want it any other way! Rick has been active for over 20 years and he knows its time to pass his cap. His dedication and commitment on the other hand are strong.
Today I fought for him to give me the same commitment and dedication that he gives to the Army. I have asked him repeatedly about an Agreement he made with me. He of course comes to all my OB visits. Then he usually goes back to work. Monday he has CAO duty and school though. So who do you think gets erased out of his appointment book of life? Me.... I am the one always expected to make the sacrifice because there isn't time in the day left for the Army Wife... I call it like it is... He's married to the Army and I am just the mistress. Easy way to solve this is... don't pencil me in. Don't make "dates". "promises", agreements with me when the Army is demanding so much of you the same day. Give me the day when you know you won't have to break my heart. If you don't pencil in the Army then don't pencil in the wife.
It takes a lot for me to get him out of a work day even when there is nothing to do. I can walk out on my drive way any given day and see many Soldiers home with their families that day just because they spent the morning out at the range... Do you think Rick comes home to civilian life after a morning at the Range? No... Not even with a go ahead from the command. He goes into the office and does his job. So excuse me if I still get bitchy.
I must have the military bred into me. I can't recall a generation of my family who hasn't served. My whole life I said I wouldn't marry into the Military. I can't help who I can't live without. Rick is the one I can't live without... if the Army decides I can have him. I knew I wasn't cut out for Military life. Even though I even tried to join when I graduated high school. I watch my older sister who I look up to for her career as a young Airman and Proud Air Force Wife. I try to take cue's from her but its really not me to be like her lol... I've adapted myself into this life to the best of my ability. I am not a perfect Army Wife but I try to do what I can. I try to be supportive even though I have short comings.
Admist all my whining I remember those who aren't as lucky as me and I think so highly of these women. Words can't express it... I laugh though because I know they pretty much have the same answer to the same question I get asked. How do you do it? Our answer is we just do... (Some days like today I wonder!!)
Mrs. Blake Harris. Your one of my Hero's... You don't know me but I went to school with your late husband. I can't imagine my husband not coming home to me. I am sure you push on for your son and I respect that so much.
Mrs. Hasenflu another Army Strong wife who's husband didn't make it home safe. Her husband served with my friends husband and it was a big shock when I helped my friend cope with this. I prayed for God's hand to bless her husband and other's with this unit to heal the wounds of PTSD and let the rest of them come home.
My sister who delievered twins while her husband served in Iraq for a year!
I met a Marine Wife (actually two) They were both pregnant. I got to know one of them fairly well. I sit here and whine about my husband possibly getting called away from my OB visit but this Ooorah wife did all 9 months without her husband there. She delivered without him there. He was in IRAQ! She's super Marine Wife! ALL the way! Did I mention she was also raising her daughter? A little more on this Marine Family OH yes and she's having to do another deployment this year!
One woman I know believes Army Wife is the toughest job in the Army. I believe she may know best. Her husband was in Korea for almost her entire pregnancy and she was raising a two year old by herself. Even in Korea her husband had to go out on field exercises and they didn't have contact for several weeks. My husband was in Iraq and I talked to him all but one day out of the entire year!
Those five wives are just five wives that have taught me that I am lucky. That I have something they couldn't I get to have my husband home when I deliver. HELL I get to have my husband HOME! Those three wives are just wives from my generation of wives... Civilian or Military pick up and read Chicken Soup for the Military Wives Soul or I could tell you stories from other wives like Joe Hoopers widow.. who overcome so much more than I can even imagine facing. Us Wives do a job. We are dedicated to our job (most of us) but nothing stands next to a Soldier. A World War II vet, A Vietnam Vet, A Korean War Vet, A Gulf War Vet and now I've seen the scars the horrific toll on OIF and OEF Vets that do their job and show their dedication toward keeping us safe. We just keep the homefires burning. This is how I get through my day (or try) without self pity...