I am cleaning up my desk continuing to find your letters you have written me since Fort Riley. I am also finding what I call the love notes. Those little short notes on index cards you left on my desk before PT, Before Duty... Whenever.
The other day I was telling Dayna how spoiled i was that I was upset I didn't get flowers from you. Then I went into the kitchen to find the emergency numbers list had changed to just Beth and George's number and what did you say underneath that? *Blushes* I never noticed it till the other day. Then again yesterday I noticed another love note on the fridge! See I guess the desk was a better location for my love notes lol. I am thumbtacking them to my wall around my Calender.
I am putting all the letters in the special box, Its getting quite full. Perhaps all the notes can go in the Willow Tree box or in an Altered Mailbox.
Just rereading these all over again. Brings tears to my eyes and my chest breathless. If something were to happen to you how could I live? How could I love again. You have shown me such a degree of love that I don't think anyone could match.
Its not just in the way you take care of us. Its not just in what you do or the sacrifices you make. Presents and Flowers make me quite giddy but its the thoughtfulness of something as simple as an index card on the fridge to remind me that the sunrises for you and sets for you. A sweet note telling me to have a good day with a hershey kiss on top.
As people tell us that you can see how much we love each other by the way we look at each other and our body language. Its not just that its the private things that we do that show each other how much we mean to each other and how much we love each other.
Honestly the age difference does scare me. Its scares me quite a bit because I know eventually down long down our journey I will have to let you go. The thought even as we are older going on with my life without brings up very lonely thoughts and a nice hearty anxiety attack!
I am not spoiled I say well loved too much at times for how am I supposed to breathe again knowing its without you. Though I am scared at the thoughts of loosing you even in the distant future. I never will second guess my decision to marry you. I will always be grateful to Kristin and Olenka for giving me that little push for the day we met. They were right. I would always regret it for as long as I live if I hadn't. I love you heart and soul Richard... Every breath I take. For you? For this? I would do it all over again.