Thursday, February 21, 2008

Military Wives I need some support and advice

To make a long story short. But not too short because that's impossible for me it seems LOL.
My husband and I got married a year ago. 7 months after we got married he PCS'd to Ft Riley for I think 9 weeks of training and was then deployed to a MiTT team. He doesn't belong to a unit just a very small team in Iraq.

He thought it was best if I stayed behind here at Redstone where he is to return to his old MOS. His youngest son had already gotten a job, I had already networked and made friends and already had a set schedule and knowledge of things so I stayed behind

For the first couple of months of this. I have done pretty good IMO at least I think for me LOL. I was pretty upset when I couldn't go to Kansas to see him off. I think part of me needs that closure of him leaving. Now it seems its easier for us to say good bye at home and let him go to the airport alone. The FRG at Ft Riley has had very limited contact with me. I have no contact with other wives or husbands from the team. I feel very alienated. I know the distance is a problem but with today's technology I don't see what the issue is really? I have read articles about Private Homecomings which I think Rick's will be since again I can't go to Kansas to see him come in (right now the outlook isn't too great). So once again I will be picking him up at the airport like he's coming home for R&R. I feel cheated and a void about this. Even though with a private home coming I know also I can make it my own the way I want it (or the way he wants it) but still... Its like having a c-section.... there is always that void...

I sent him back to Iraq two weeks ago from R&R and I have had a lot harder time with focusing, keeping busy, not thinking about time left. The time thing used to be exciting for me. Like I would say YEAH I made it Through 30 weeks or whatever... WOW its already been 6 months time flew by... Now its like OMG there is THAT much left I don't even feel like there is a dent in it!

I live on a fairly small post that is filled mainly with AIT students. There is a small FRG and I have regular contact with the FRG leaders who have been more than extraordinary. The Captain of Rick's old Brigade is the FRG leader and he is an Extraordinary soldier! I want to write the Col about him too! Anyways. So maybe once a month we have our "FRG" meeting which consists of Free Bowling, Free Pizza and some Hello's in passing. There is a Waiting Spouses "Support" Group I use support loosely there because sometimes I walk away more traumatized than when I came lol. We are a "Non-Deployable Post" So its kinda of like more like the Stray wives club. Where sometimes our husbands got deployed and we moved here to be with family, or our husbands got sent to Ft Riley or Bragg to deploy out of but we stayed behind... That kind of support. So I am kinda still feeling like a stray, abandoned, and lost LOL.

Like I said I have been doing better than I expected for the first half and now my Borderline Personality disorder, PTSD, and Depression are creeping up. I am fully aware of this and I am actually fine with it for now. I recognize the abandonment feelings as part of this issue...

Any advice?

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Hi, I just read your post. I saw that you posted it back in Feb, so hopefully you will see that I have responded. What you wrote is so familar to me. I also lived in Redstone while my husband was in AIT. My husband joined up much later in life, so was one of the oldest ones in AIT. We got orders to come here to FtRiley, and I cried!!!!!! One I knew he would get deployed right away, and two I knew it was out in the boonies and nothing was out there. I had a friend that lived across the street who's husband was also stationed in Ft Riley, on his way to Iraq, so she choose to stay at Redstone, since her husband told her she would hate it. I had the option to stay behind also, but I chose not to. With us being new to the Army, i wanted to be where my husband was, no matter how much I hated it, or how long he would be there till he deployed. We got here in Nov 07, and my husband deployed Jan 08, we could not move on post cause there is a huge waiting list. We moved to a town 25 mins from post. Everything I thought about Ft Riley is true, but hey at least I am here, and awaiting my husband to come home for his r and r here in Aug. I just got put on the waiting list for Ft Riley, and hope to be in as soon as possible. It's all what you make of it, and even though my husband is not pshycially here, I feel closer to him. So, in the end I am glad I made the choice to move here to Kansas.