Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I was forwarded this email from someone in my Mommy Loop. She doesn't have a step son. She's not an Army Wife. So when she forwarded it to me it sounded like it was meant for me. This was her response anyways and I told her it was probably meant for me and I will be sure to find out who this woman is.

I am certianly am not a rank whore. I don't wear my husband's rank on my sleeve. No I wasn't there from the begining. Sure there is an age difference. It makes no difference to us. We make each other extremely happy! My ex told me my blogs were fake and made up he didn't believe what I wrote. He also said my hair was like an old hippy. HA sounds like jealousy to me! Jealousy that he doesn't believe Rick can make me happy. That I will stay faithful to my husband whether he is deployed or not. That I make him happy. That we are in love. There is nothing FAKE about this. Except me pretending I like to clean and be a good house wife. That I don't have an addiction to shopping HAHA!

We met each other at the perfect time in our lives (for the most part). There is no doubt in either of our minds that this wasn't perfect.

I may have gotten the tail end of his service. I didn't marry the soldier because he's a soldier and I don't identify him as a soldier he is my husband who I just so happen to be proud of. Not because he's a soldier but because he is a wonderful husband and father! There are many Army Wives who have been with their husbands since boot camp and AIT and they do where their husband's rank on their sleeve. Thats a rank whore!

There is nothing nice or pretty about being an Army Wife. It is not the easiest job in the Army as the stickers say. I certainly think my husband has the harder job. Perhaps I am used to being able to do this on my own. I can do this because of him. I don't glamorize it. I show my patriotism and pride in what our soldiers do! I come from a Military Family and I have always been supportive and in awe of my Former Air Force sister now turned Air Force wife. She even had more challenges than I during her husband's deployment. Who am I to shake a stick at alot of these ladies?

Anyways to me the rank whore is the woman down the street who cries wolf while her husband is on his 6th deployment yet she also brags his rank. She expects the Army or others to do things for her because of his rank... That's a Rank Whore! I am just indeed a proud Army Wife. Proud of my Soldier! I didn't have to know him through all his years of service to be proud of what he is done.

I agree with my friend who says to the so called Proud Army Wife. I sure your not one to be living on my block or my street and I certainly hope there are none others like you!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Barbara Sillers <applebees1212@yahoo.com>
Mon, Feb 25, 2008 at 9:41 PM
Subject: ?
To: someone in my Mommy

So you are as old as your stepson almost?.... hummmm I see your
husbands time in... so you just decided to hop in now that all the hard work is
done? How convient you missed all the basic training, being beside him
while he worked to get where he is now, right when you jump in and claim to be
an "Army Wife".... you havn't earned that title... you are what we call a rank
whore. An Army wife earns her title just like her husband does in the
Army. we are Proud wives, not just girls that hop on at the end on the

This was her response anyways and I told her it was probably meant for me and I will be sure to find out who this woman is.

I have no idea who this came from. If it is from this group or
what. If it isn't, I'm sorry but I don't see why anyone else would
have my email.

First, I don't have a stepson, only a husband and a
golden retriever!

Who are you to be name calling?

And if you are
so good at researching, you'd know that I am NOT an ARMY WIFE.

Whether it
is true or not (I CAN ASSURE YOU NOT in my instance) but whoever you are
pointing your finger at. I don't know if it is necessary to call anyone an

Whoever you are "Proud Army Wife" I hope there aren't
more like you.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Dayna's Craft Idea

all you need is pink construction paper, paint a tree on it, and then let her use popcorn to make blossoms on the tree

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Military Wives I need some support and advice

To make a long story short. But not too short because that's impossible for me it seems LOL.
My husband and I got married a year ago. 7 months after we got married he PCS'd to Ft Riley for I think 9 weeks of training and was then deployed to a MiTT team. He doesn't belong to a unit just a very small team in Iraq.

He thought it was best if I stayed behind here at Redstone where he is to return to his old MOS. His youngest son had already gotten a job, I had already networked and made friends and already had a set schedule and knowledge of things so I stayed behind

For the first couple of months of this. I have done pretty good IMO at least I think for me LOL. I was pretty upset when I couldn't go to Kansas to see him off. I think part of me needs that closure of him leaving. Now it seems its easier for us to say good bye at home and let him go to the airport alone. The FRG at Ft Riley has had very limited contact with me. I have no contact with other wives or husbands from the team. I feel very alienated. I know the distance is a problem but with today's technology I don't see what the issue is really? I have read articles about Private Homecomings which I think Rick's will be since again I can't go to Kansas to see him come in (right now the outlook isn't too great). So once again I will be picking him up at the airport like he's coming home for R&R. I feel cheated and a void about this. Even though with a private home coming I know also I can make it my own the way I want it (or the way he wants it) but still... Its like having a c-section.... there is always that void...

I sent him back to Iraq two weeks ago from R&R and I have had a lot harder time with focusing, keeping busy, not thinking about time left. The time thing used to be exciting for me. Like I would say YEAH I made it Through 30 weeks or whatever... WOW its already been 6 months time flew by... Now its like OMG there is THAT much left I don't even feel like there is a dent in it!

I live on a fairly small post that is filled mainly with AIT students. There is a small FRG and I have regular contact with the FRG leaders who have been more than extraordinary. The Captain of Rick's old Brigade is the FRG leader and he is an Extraordinary soldier! I want to write the Col about him too! Anyways. So maybe once a month we have our "FRG" meeting which consists of Free Bowling, Free Pizza and some Hello's in passing. There is a Waiting Spouses "Support" Group I use support loosely there because sometimes I walk away more traumatized than when I came lol. We are a "Non-Deployable Post" So its kinda of like more like the Stray wives club. Where sometimes our husbands got deployed and we moved here to be with family, or our husbands got sent to Ft Riley or Bragg to deploy out of but we stayed behind... That kind of support. So I am kinda still feeling like a stray, abandoned, and lost LOL.

Like I said I have been doing better than I expected for the first half and now my Borderline Personality disorder, PTSD, and Depression are creeping up. I am fully aware of this and I am actually fine with it for now. I recognize the abandonment feelings as part of this issue...

Any advice?

Saturday, February 16, 2008


I am cleaning up my desk continuing to find your letters you have written me since Fort Riley. I am also finding what I call the love notes. Those little short notes on index cards you left on my desk before PT, Before Duty... Whenever.

The other day I was telling Dayna how spoiled i was that I was upset I didn't get flowers from you. Then I went into the kitchen to find the emergency numbers list had changed to just Beth and George's number and what did you say underneath that? *Blushes* I never noticed it till the other day. Then again yesterday I noticed another love note on the fridge! See I guess the desk was a better location for my love notes lol. I am thumbtacking them to my wall around my Calender.

I am putting all the letters in the special box, Its getting quite full. Perhaps all the notes can go in the Willow Tree box or in an Altered Mailbox.

Just rereading these all over again. Brings tears to my eyes and my chest breathless. If something were to happen to you how could I live? How could I love again. You have shown me such a degree of love that I don't think anyone could match.

Its not just in the way you take care of us. Its not just in what you do or the sacrifices you make. Presents and Flowers make me quite giddy but its the thoughtfulness of something as simple as an index card on the fridge to remind me that the sunrises for you and sets for you. A sweet note telling me to have a good day with a hershey kiss on top.

As people tell us that you can see how much we love each other by the way we look at each other and our body language. Its not just that its the private things that we do that show each other how much we mean to each other and how much we love each other.

Honestly the age difference does scare me. Its scares me quite a bit because I know eventually down long down our journey I will have to let you go. The thought even as we are older going on with my life without brings up very lonely thoughts and a nice hearty anxiety attack!

I am not spoiled I say well loved too much at times for how am I supposed to breathe again knowing its without you. Though I am scared at the thoughts of loosing you even in the distant future. I never will second guess my decision to marry you. I will always be grateful to Kristin and Olenka for giving me that little push for the day we met. They were right. I would always regret it for as long as I live if I hadn't. I love you heart and soul Richard... Every breath I take. For you? For this? I would do it all over again.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Catching Up

I am a writer by heart. I love to write and I love to write often. Rick and I just finished up our two weeks of R&R. Although there wasn't much R&R to be had. Which I feel guilty for. I promised James a Firefly marathon... it didn't happen. I promised a second Christmas to everyone.... didn't happen... So when I woke up that morning to him already wearing his ACU's gathering the last of his belongings I wanted nothing more than to poof myself somewhere.... anywhere would have been fine. I would say that moment was borderline traumatic. For three days I was depressed, Moody and just wanting to sleep through the rest of the deployment. Literally Wake me up when September ends....

Its just been a week since he's been gone and my whole demeanor on this deployment has changed. I dealt with it beautifully for 6 months and 20 days and now I just want to ignore the time left.

Everyone wants to know how R&R went. But I am not sure what to tell you LOL.

He came in early and I was like nothing's done that's supposed to be done because he came in a week earlier than I expected then a day earlier than I expected. Aren't there usually delays LOL? Not that I am complaining but I did that day because nothing was done!

Here are pictures of Skylar and I getting ready...

Resized Ready for Ricks RandR Jan 23 12 Resized Ready for Ricks RandR Jan 23 5 resized P1230066 Resized Ready for Ricks RandR Jan 23 14 Resized Ready for Ricks RandR Jan 23 2 Resized Ready for Ricks RandR Jan 23 1

A fellow Army Wife took me to the airport to meet him. Skylar of course tagged along. I left them at the doors to the baggage claim and I went inside. I quickly found the baggage claim for the flight... No Rick... So I stood by the stairs... waiting... I saw many combat boots pass me by. I got excited with each one. Finally the combat boots that belong to my husband were coming down the stairs and I knew before our eyes met that it was him. We had the expected greeting and we headed out to the van.

She dropped us off at the PX so we could get the rent a car then we came home. My friend offered to babysit Skylar that first night so we went out to dinner with James and went to the book store. After that Skylar called crying she wanted to come home. So we went and got her and that was fine. Later that week we ended up going to the mall with a friend of mine. Rick had saw Libby Lu (http://www.clublibbylu.com/) and came back with Skylar and told me all about it so we decided to do it. Well it was a horrible experience. I was treated so poorly as well was Skylar called Managers and Coporate to complain about this. So Libby Lu did give us a second makeover.

Here's pictures from that... Skylar and Mikayla's Princess Makeover

P2010106 l_7babd39ffe9ae3fffaa802cbc32a60a1 P2010105 resized Libby Lu Jan 31

and the second makeover and this one is the Rock Star/Hannah Montana Makeover lol

Feb 3rd 2008 Libby Lu Dscn0233 Feb 3rd 2007 Libby Lu P2040019 Feb 3rd 2008 Libby Lu Dscn0239 P2040006

In that first week we also bought a car. James bought a Wii against our better judgement or was it? It turned out to be a great family fun activity! Rick attended Skylar's ballet lesson. She's been taking it for months but it was the first one he has gotten to see.

resized Skylar wii 4 Resized Skylar Wii 3 resized Skylar wii 2 Resized James and Skylar spending time together resized Honda the Car Lady Rick and Skylar Jan 31st 2 Resized Skylar Wii resized Honda the Car Lady Rick and Skylar Jan 31st resized Honda the Car Lady Rick and Skylar Jan 31 3

The second week was our Anniversary Week it was mainly all about us. I had made reservations on Tuesday for an overnight stay at the Embassy Suites with the Romance Package that of course was scheduled after our special Gondola ride. Then the next day we would go down to the Spa for a nice couples massage.

http://www.labellagondolas.com/ Jason and Roberto YOU WERE WONDERFUL thank you so very much for making it so memorable!




I wanted to share a little bit of history with you. The Day Rick and I got married it snowed and there was a fountain at the chapel that was frozen over solid LOL. The weekend before our first anniversary boy were we excited due to the fact we were concerned about freezing on the Gondola. The weather said it would be in the 70's on our anniversary BEAUTIFUL! Well with the warm front came Tornado's! So the Gondola postpone. My babysitter was sick and with the tornado's we tried to post pone the hotel reservations but they weren't having it saying they had already bought the roses for the romance package and they were booked solid the next day. Now we called way before check in! So what's the use in all that? Making a deposit and all that? So the babysitter (my friend) said she would still watch Skylar on our anniversary and for the Gondola. So we went ahead to the hotel to pay for the room and check in. It was still mid afternoon. I went up to the room to set up. We would come back for the free social hour lol and dinner.

Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0252 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0249 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0248 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0247 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0246 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0245 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0244 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0243 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0242 Feb 5th 2008 Embassy suites Dscn0241

Once we returned to our room after the social hourthere is no sign of the flowers that were supposed to be there, the champagne and chocolates that were included with the romance package reservation. We called the front desk and they "took care" of it. Still not up to my satisfaction but I was already bitter toward the hotel LOL. I had yet to find out why I was going to be bitter. At 4 am I had just gotten to sleep and the fire alarms alerted us that the Tornado's that were due in 12 hours before had arrived. Everyone in the hotel must come down to the ballroom. Well that was a nightmare, Over crowded and frightened people for over an hour. Luckily no tornados hit in Huntsville just devastation to some outer laying counties. The next day we enjoyed our couples massage its the first time I ever had a massage.

We went home and spent some time with Skylar who was feeling a little under the weather my guess was from going to the Child development center on post. So we decided we would take her on the Gondola ride with us. The Gondola had to be postponed again due to high winds left by the Tornado's. Once the warm front had left Huntsville it began to get chilly again. So the day before Rick left we finally got our Gondola Ride and it was MOST beautiful! I am glad it got postponed two days it was like a final Hoooah for Rick and something to tie the bow on the package. Know what I mean?

Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080054 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080053 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080052 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080049 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080047 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080046 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080044 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080043 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080042 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080041 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola P2080039 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0269 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0268 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0267 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0266 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0264 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0263 Feb 7th 2008 LaBellaGondola Dscn0262

It is tradition to kiss underneath the bridge so Rick made sure that happened several times. So many infact Roberto did a U-turn and went right back under! AH! LOl.

Some reason I can't upload another video of the vocalist which was awesome! I might do it in another blog!

Resized message in a bottle

Roberto asked Rick to help with the litter problem at the lake. Rick picked up a bottle out of the water once he noticed the message in the bottle he looked at me and said sneaky! La Bella Gondola made sure every detail was to perfection! I so appreciate there cooperation!