Friday, January 25, 2008

Maybe baby?

Maybe Baby?
Rick and I are unsure about having a 5th child to our full house. So while in a discount book store I picked up Maybe Baby? I was thinking this book might help settle some questions in our heads about whether or not we wanted another child. Just reading through the introduction I have found that this book is and isn't what I thought it was. This book is mainly reflecting on the first born child on whether or not to procreate all together. Clearly we have both procreated twice just not together. Just in the forward and first chapter of the book it talks about people who would like to remain Childless by Choice, Childless due to the inability to have children by themselves, and those who have children by whatever decision they make. However I will keep reading the book in hopes I will find some peace that I am looking for and be able to maybe make a decision by the fall when he is home. I also plan on fully preparing him on the financial strain of having a baby. If by chance I cannot breast feed or if I can... I would buy the hospital grade pump and they are about $300, I've tried others' they don't work. If I cannot breast feed he needs to realize how much formula costs we wouldn't more than likely qualify for WIC. Then all the necessities babies need. Since I know we have the emotional part down of parenting one of our concerns is Financial, My physical limitations, His age, His retirement in the near future, the two older children, and also Mackenzie. Its been 19 years since he has had a baby under his wings. When the boys were babies he worked a lot, was in training, deployed... whatever the Army wanted him to. This time he could be here full-time and not miss anything. Props to the boys mother and grandmother for doing it mostly on their own as they were growing up.So one of the things to keep us busy during R&R are going window shopping and seeing how much everything is. Holding Molly my friends newborn, feeding Molly... a trial run of playing house. LOL We can't predict everything like where would the baby sleep (all though I have some idea's)
So this blog can be an open forum for ya'll.
I don't know many childless married couples by choice. But if your married and childless or unmarried and childless by choice. Leave a Comment and tell me why your childless by Choice

If your married or unmarried and unable to get pregnant. Tell me if you aren't going to seek further help in having a baby or would you be one of those childless by choice due to necessity of extraordinary measures. Leave a comment and tell me your story.

If you have children and remarried. Did you or did you not have children with your current spouse why and why not? If you are divorced. If you were to remarry would you consider having children with your future spouse? Leave a comment and tell me why.

For the parents. How did you know you wanted to be parents with your first born? How did you know you wanted the subsequent children after that? Leave me a comment and tell me why.

The book states "They said that people who choose not to have children (as opposted to those who desperately want to have children but can't) opposed to those who desperately want to have children but can't) tend to have better marriages, better fiances, less s tress, and are no more likely to be unhappy in old age than parents." The chapter touches on the way you loose intimacy with your mate because of the stress and exhaustion. I like my marriage where it is for the most part. Would adding another mouth to feed put a strain on my marriage I don't want to deal with? Or would it bring a new level of joy to my marriage? Another fear and reason for my indecisiveness. What do you think?

See where I am getting at? After reading this book and each chapter talks about the different decisions people make and why. As the front cover of the book says 28 writers tell the truth about skepticism, infertility, baby lust, childlessness, ambivalence, and how they made the biggest decision of their lives.

So write me and tell me how you made the biggest decisions of your life.

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