Wednesday, November 14, 2007

11/14/07

Welp. I thought I had it situated with Butch that he was going to give me a ride to and from Georgia for Thanksgiving. He called me on the 9th and he said he would be here on the 10th. I said wow that early? He's like yeah. I was like oh so your just going to chill here for a week? He's like yeah I thought I would. Well he didn't get here till the 13th. I am right in the middle of Ballet with Skylar and he shows up at gate 9 so I had to drop everything and go get him at gate 9. I got him a pass for two weeks. Then he is like well you ready to go to Georgia? I am like NO? He's like oh I thought I would take you right back. I said I can't leave James? He's like why not? I said James has work. Plus I got responsibilities here. Rick's shit would hit the roof. He had every intention of driving me to Georgia and leaving me there! I had thought if he was going to be here two weeks that I would get a chance to buy a car and do holiday shoppping etc. I could get everything accomplished so after he leaves I will be without transportation etc.

You gotta understand me to know that what makes me happy is being able to provide for my daughter. If I feel like I can't accomplish simple crap for her it gets me all depressed. Every year of her life she has gotten a new dress for Christmas. Its just something I have always done. Christmas, Easter, Birthday and maybe even Thanksgiving.

Well I did get the title mailed off and I got that accomplished so I should be getting the settlement from the insurance policy on our car.

Today I went and returned a library book, mailed off the title to the metro, then we went to the mall to look for Skylar's Christmas Dress I had my heart set on they had NONE. They had some holiday seperates but nothing like I had my heart set on. No biggie I will just order it. I did purchase several special ornaments. Then I went to Wal-Mart and I got almost everything on my list. I even got everything to put Rick together a special care package. They had the Smart Cycle rick wanted to get Skylar $15.00 off so I texted him and he told me to go ahead and get it... after I checked out plus we had Skylar I couldn't get a big ticket item right there with her watching. I came home and packed his two care packages. Then I cleared some space for a Christmas Tree in the living room but gave up that since I was just weepy and not in the mood for the physical work. I was getting pretty upset. I asked my friend J.R. to watch Skylar while I ran to Walmart. Then I talked to J.D. and she just kinda gave me a pat on the back and hug (Verbally). Eventually I took Skylar to J.R.s and ran to Walmart and got the Smart Cycle, Two games, christmas lights and a christmas bear. I guess Butch is feeling bad about the situation and its not the way I intended him to feel. But he then took me to Children's Place and I got Skylar's Christmas outfit that I had passed up and I grabbed me a matching shirt as well.

I just really wanted to see everyone back in Georgia. My sister is pissy about it. Skylar has seen the same Santa every Thanksgiving Night her entire life and now all this is taken away from us.

Call me whatever you want but this is my first deployment, my first time away from home why can't people be more compassionate toward me. I have lived here 10 months and a day. No one has came to visit me even though they said they would numerous times. Its not like I am days away. Its a 3 and 4 hour drive. I have been there about 10 times but no one comes here. What else is new this is ALWAYS the case. I make all the effort. But since its my first Thanksgiving without an adult YOU'd think they would give me more sympathy.

F' it Apparently I don't mean enough to them. Rick promises to go there next Thanksgiving but why do I have to keep making the effort? Why am I always the one to go to everyone and they never come to me. I bet no one can tell me one time (other than Butch's two visits) that someone has come out to see me?? Again its not FAR! Of course J.R. and J.D. has both offered their homes to me on T'Giving but I know me on a holiday I am not good company. I miss my son and now I am going to be a lump of clay with loneliness missing my husband. Skylar wouldn't notice if we just did nothing??

1 comment:

aka_Monty said...

It has to suck for you...and I can only imagine what it's like. And my family does that crap too, so I can understand a little on that part.
Once my sister and I were supposed to clean my mom's house for her because everyone was gathering there for Turkey day...I told my sister to CALL ME when she got there. She never called, I finally went to mom's and everyone was pissed at ME for not being there earlier! I said "Why didn't you call me?" and my sister AND my mom AND my dad all said, "Why couldn't YOU have called to see if she was here?"

FOR CRAP'S SAKE. Then everyone wants to make you feel guilty and selfish.
Screw 'em. You can make a happy holiday for yourself and Skylar, and have a special time together, if that's what you need to do. *hug*