Sunday, September 30, 2007
Anyways in a Mommy Support group the topic of religion got started. I tend to not get started in these but I felt I was called to speak up and this is what I wrote about WHY I believe what I believe. Why I have faith...
My first husband would damn God and Jesus. Everything was God's Fault, Jesus's fault, or MY fault. His Epilepsy, his pain, whatever. He told Mackenzie at 6 months old he was born and he would be raised to Kill Jesus Christ. That literally scared me so bad! I was called a traitor for wanting to read the bible and go to church.
Donnie who was raised catholic and still claims to be but also has atheist views. He would question me as other's have. How can you believe in something that has caused you so much pain? How can you believe in someone that has taken your children from you? How can you believe in someone who has done this? Kills precious babies. My answer?
Because I don't believe the higher being does this. I doubt I can explain to you why I believe in God or have faith blindly but isn't that what faith is? I doubt your going to have an ah ha moment from my explanation. But I have faith and I believe in God even though I too have lost the faith at points, I believe in it because its all I got! Its all that keeps me going, when I hit the rocks. I had faith it was for a reason... When your down to nothing God is up to something... I read on a church sign as I returned from one of my visitations with Mackenzie. That was an ah ha moment for me. I have to have faith that this is for a reason. I have to have faith that God is protecting Mackenzie since I am such a worthless mother I can't protect him myself. I have to have faith that I will see him again. When Skylar had to undergo the surgery in her mouth. I really struggled once again not with trust or faith but just how to give all my concerns to god. I turned to a few people and learned how. Now I am facing the battle again with Rick. I refuse to live my life any other way. Without my faith I have no strength. I love blindly. I believe blindly. I live blindly. If nothing I was taught truly exists and we just all become dust then so be it. At least my faith got me through another beautiful day.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
With the full weight of the body on the toes and the ball of the foot.
A traveling step in which the dancer may move in any direction on demi-pointe or on pointe. The calves are held as close together as possible while the dancer executes a series of swift miniature steps.
To rise onto pointe or demi-pointe.
Friday, September 28, 2007
– Lucille Ball
Sunday, September 23, 2007
When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....
...to listen to his son whine about being bored.
...to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.
...to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.
...to be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep.
...to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.
...to control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower.
…to be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying.
...to be grateful that he fights for the freedom of speech.
...to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp.
...to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.
...to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.
...to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.
...to be civil to people who complain about their jobs.
...to just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year.
...to be happy for a friend's new hot tub.
...to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.
...not to punch a wall when someone says we should pull out immediately
The only thing harder than being a Soldier...
Is loving one.
Friday, September 21, 2007
You know I have become addicted to having you here.
I have become addicted to feeling your touch.
I am addicted to your scent.
You know the way you put your spell on me to keep me.
I am sitting here wishing that you were the one addicted to
Needing my scent like a primal animal goes for prey.
Can't you be addicted to my taste?
The way I long to taste you.
You give me just a taste of you to keep me addicted
Addicted to you.
Wishing you were addicted to me
Was chosen as a semi finalist in poetry.com & will be published in "Immortal Words"
Searching for pictures that don't exist
and the essence of you in my life
I feel a sheet of sadness over me.
Is it fate the insanity that won't let me
let this go.
All this disappears when you consume me.
Memories of you haunt my dreams.
So all I am left with are memories,
Me searching for pictures that don't exist
searching for the right thing to say.
and this unexplained sadness.
Next time perhaps we chase the moonlight.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
- Make Friends on base
- Shy? well join a site like this to help you.
- Myspace helps waste ALOT of time ha.
-Talk to other woman on base, be friendly.
- Family is always a good thing, call them daily.
- If you have kids make mommy dates.
- MOST IMPORTANT KEEP YOURSELF BUSY.
- Email Family & Friends & your Loved One.
- Write letters to your loved one daily.
If you know what an LES is and can read it.
If you know "going to the commissary" means the same as "going to the grocery store".
If you've ever stood way down the dairy section aisle of the commissary waiting to be checked out by a cashier.
(This usually happens on paydays.)
If you're broke by around the 12th and 27th of every month.
If you spend at least one day a week sleeping by yourself.
If that one day a week is no big deal to you.
If one week or one month away from your spouse is no big deal either.
If you spend more time with your neighbors than your spouse or have ever felt "married" to one or more of your friends.
If you've ever checked your email multiple times a day in hopes your spouse has written you and know how horrible email being "down" is.
If the thought of another deployment makes you cringe.
If you've ever stood helpless while your kids cry for Daddy (or Mommy), wishing you could tell them it wouldn't be long but knowing it's not true...and ended up crying with them.
If "sleeping with another man" means letting your son sleep with you while Daddy's gone.
If you've ever felt a twinge of jealousy seeing a couple enjoy each other's company in public somewhere while your spouse was gone.
If, upon hearing of a military member's death, you cry for their spouse and children and want to hold your spouse a little tighter or email them if they aren't with you.
If you've had your spouse's picture as the desktop background on your computer so you can feel like they're still with you.
If you've ever talked to that picture, smiled at it, cried to it, and in some weird way felt better afterwards.
If you've ever made a paper chain that was long enough to circle your entire living room (or more) and removed the links one by one down to the Las! T when your spouse was finally coming home.
If you've ever had to add (or remove) links to that chain because the arrival date changed.
If you've ever cried tears of joy at a homecoming...but secretly ached inside knowing the happiness was short-lived and your spouse would be leaving again.
If you've ever felt weird, or almost "wrong", sleeping with your spouse after a long separation (who is this stranger?).
If you know most of your spouse's workmates by their last name only.
If you have a power of attorney, USE it, and freak out when it expires.
If you know that not everyone accepts a power of attorney, despite the fact it gives you permission to practically BE your spouse.
If you've ever argued that fact with someone in person or over the phone and gotten nowhere.
If you've ever informed your spouse of your baby's arrival by sending an American Red Cross.
If you've spent almost all the holidays in any given year without your spouse.
If you've ever avoided touching your spouse until they thoroughly showered off the mace-like product they had sprayed on them during training.
If you accidentally got some on your hand anyway, didn't know it, and rubbed it in your eyes. (OUCH!)
If you know what "leave" is and have looked forward to being able to use it.
If you've ever reassured your spouse while they worried over making rank...telling them everything would be fine either way.
If you've ever celebrated when they made it...but knew you'd have to wait months before seeing the pay raise.
If you have perfected the military cut, even though you have had no previous hair cutting experience.
If you own a sewing machine that's mainly used to sew patches on your spouse's uniforms, and you do it well.
If you've ever stood quietly and proudly on the sidelines while your spouse was recognized for the work they'd done.
If anything on this list made you laugh, cry, or at least nod your head in agreement...you might be a military spouse!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Rick and I have been discussing something that we may want to happen in the next two years but it can't be done before he gets back. He knows its really troubling me as well as a few other things. How Ironic is this?
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Don't be too surprised if you get upset at the smallest provocations today -- it's just where you're mood is taking you. It may be a good idea to retreat just a little and see if you can deal with it on your own.
April 20 - May 20
Today, your mind is on mergers of all kinds, from business to marriage. It may be that you need to jump in now, or perhaps it's time for a frank evaluation of one you're already immersed within.
May 21 - June 21
You've been running at quite a bit lately, so now it's time to slow down and let life move at its own pace for a while. You should get quite a bit out of a day or two of rest and contemplation.
June 22 - July 22
You need to slow down a bit and use your best judgment when confronted with new arrangements of any kind. Your instincts are strong right now, but they may be crowded out by too much information.
July 23 - August 22
You've got plenty going on right now and that means someone close is going to have to wait before they get your full attention. Be nice about it, of course, but make sure that you are also firm.
August 23 - September 22
Now is the perfect time for a reality check. You can tell what's what and it could be that one or more of your goals need a bit of adjustment to bring them back in line with the world as it is.
September 23 - October 22
Shopping or collecting would scratch an itch you might not even have known you had. There's no need to break the bank, of course, but you should poke around until you find something that you love.
October 23 - November 21
You are filled with positive energy and ought to be able to push yourself in a new direction that you've been itching to try. It's a great day for surprises and making the most of what you've already got!
November 22 - December 21
You need to recharge your emotional batteries and it's a great time to close your office or bedroom door for a while and just sink into solitude. The mood shouldn't last for very long if you treat it right!
December 22 - January 19
You can take advantage of the day's energy by getting yourself and your family organized. Some of them might not be up for the rigor, but you can push them a little without any serious consequences.
January 20 - February 18
It's one of those days when it seems like everyone wants to know your deepest secrets, but you don't have to tell all. Make sure to be polite, but it might be a good idea to turn the phone off for a while.
February 19 - March 20
Work is more fraught with peril than usual, though you've got the intuitive chops to deal with it as long as you keep your eyes open! Everyone seems to be looking out only for themselves, unfortunately.
I don't know why I posted these here but thats what happens lol
40 of the most spontaneous questions ever
1. Where were you 4 hours ago?
i was sleeping in my bed
2. What do you think of your last kiss?
It was tender
3. Do you kiss a lot of people?
4. Are you wearing socks right now?
5. When was the last time you went out of state?
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
8. What are you wearing right now?
cami, button down, and camo shorts its too cold I have to change
9. What was your last purchase?
something at the commissary
10. Last food you ate?
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
13. Do you have a pet?
I have two cats and a bird
14. What did you do last night?
Stayed at home I was pretty shooken up.
16. If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
i would be right here with my hubby
17. What is the last thing you purchase online?
18. One thing you hate about yourself?
i hate how i stress out over EVERYTHING
19. What's your favorite soup?
20. Do you miss anyone?
i am always missing someone
21. Last movie you saw?
22. What are your plans for the day?
clean the house and chill, go to Oktoberfest
23. Did you have fun today?
the days just beginning
24. Who is your last text message from?
25. Were you an honor roll student in school?
yes a long long time ago
26. What do you know about the future?
i know for certain i will be with Rick :) i ♥ him
27. Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
29. Do you have a tan?
i did but its fading
30. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
I have our four we are set for life
31. Did you meet anyone new today?
32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
just my ears
33. Any pets?
see questions 13
34. Do you like hot sauce?
35. What are you doing tomorrow?
i am not sure yet
36. What day is tomorrow?
37. What is your current mood?
i am okay at the moment
38. Do you like someone?
I like most everyone
39. Are you dating someone?
no, im married to someone
because i love him.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Today nothing spectacular happening. I wrote in my blogs, did some laundry, talked to my friend Jess who isn't feeling well and I have to take James and pick him up from work.
Wow so I found quite a bit of blogs basically expressing the same thing as I wrote yesterday. In case you didn't see it here is a direct link to my main blog on blogger."Did you REALLY Remember?" Then there are a few that are let us mourn and move on. To me that's a direct representation of the future of repeating history because we didn't listen to the past. Such as December 7th Pearl Harbor Day and some say thats the reason why we were vulnerable on September 11, 2001. I personally remember and still feel the void today when I looked at disgust of our "Patriotism" when Hurricane Katrina turned two states in the south into a 3rd world country. We didn't have near the Patriotism following the days of the Terrorists attacked on us on 9/11. Ground Zero is all cleaned up ready to rebuild 6 years later but what about the south? Are there still tons of homeless there? Unidentified bodies? parts of cities left in ruins? Is it going to take 6 years to get it to sink in with you? Yes even the Government failed alot in the south.. Its sad. When I still read articles about the troubles hurting the south.
Rick and I had a discussion on the Anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing. Lets not forget that because that was an American that attacked us. What pictures of the 9/11 Attacks stick out in your mind, What about OKC Bombings? & Katrina? Does any one picture stick out in your mind?
This is my 100th Blog Post on This blog
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Did you see the marine poet I sent a few weeks ago? Did you listen? Its not propaganda its from heart, In cse you missed it.... remind yourself Bad Ass Marine
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
From the book : Connoisseur;s Sex Guideby: Anne Hooperhmmm i need your thoughts ladies haha this is like WOW. With the guys being deployed and coming back i dont think anyone could pull this off. but then again we never know. so let me hear your responses to this.
10 steps to improve orgasm:1. Delay Climax - the more drawn out the build - up to sex, the more sexual tension there is to release at the time of orgasm, leading to a deeper climax. (il be posting some techniques later).2. Do excercises to develop muscle control so that you can time your climaxes better. these will also increase your chances of experiencing multiple orgasms. (il post a few later too).3. include the prostate gland in your stimulation, either before or during intercourse. 4. stroke and caress the perinuem and testicles sensitivity - they are highly erogenous zones.5. use your imagination : think sexy thoughts, remember sexy sights, and go to places in your mind where you wouldnt dream of going in real life. hmmm6. abstain from alcohol, tobacco and drugs. these can al dull sexual sensation and adversely affect performance. 7. improve penile muscle tone through exercises such as pelvic-floor exercises. (il try to post some later.8. use first class sex lubrication. a lubricated penis instantly becomes more sensitive and receives more pleasurable feeling than a dry one.9. experiment with the pulsar technique, which feels fantastic during ejaculation.10. try climaxing in only one out of three lovemaking sessions - the belief is that in this way you can build up an explosive orgasm and intense sensation.
Orgasm Techniques For Her
Guiding HimEvery woman's sexual response is different, so it's important that the woman guides her partner and communicates how and where she likes to be touched. Extra StimulationSome women require manual stimulation in order to continue to climax during intercourse. the man can reach around and stimulate the clitorios, timing the touch to his thrust.
The Joy Of Vibrators
There are some men and women for whom the combination of masturbation and intercourse either feels uncomfortable or still does not offer enough stimulation. This is where the vibrators come to the rescue. Vibrators are not just for novelty value, for some women they are essential, and can make the difference between experiencing orgasm and never doing so. Vibrators today have travelled a long way from the pink plastic, penis shaped models. you can purchase them in bright jelly colours, in a variety of shapes and sizes, and with a number of special and very pleasing attributes.
The G-spot is a small area on the front wall of the vagina, although it dooesn't appear to be present in all women. When pressed, it is believed to trigger orgasm. It is names after gynaecologist Ernst Grafenburg, who first described it, relating it to the point where the urethra runs closest to the top of the vagina wall. Others think it to be the vestiges of what would have been the prostate gland if the foetus had developed into a boy. Indeed, some women who appear to have a G-spot orgasm appear to ejaculate a thin arc of fluid, when climaxing. The latest theory is that the G- spot is the root of the clitoris - hence its sensitivity.
How To Stimulate The G-spot
Exert a steady pressure with your finger on the spot, pushing for a count of ten, then let go, then press again. it is pressure rather than light stroking that brings on the erotic sensation and can trigger climax. Place your finger inside your vagina and try to reach the far end (this might be very difficult). Reach with the finger towards your abdomen. The G-spot feels like a small bump swelling out of the front wall of the vagina.
Sex For One
Most women love the closeness and fullness they experience during face-to-face intercourse. However, they may not necessarily get intense climaxes this way. Self touch generally offers much longer, stronger, more drawn-out orgasmic experience. It;s a good idea to experience self-stimulation so that you learn your own orgasmic patterns as well as your own erogenous zones. If you know what gives you an orgasm, you can take this information into your relationship and help your man find his way.
From the book : Connoisseurs Sex GuideBy: Anne HooperThis is very interesting but somewhere along it all i got lost lol. i understand some stuff but others its like ummm ok lets try this sometime. i dunno leave your thoughts and comments ladies and gentlemen