Saturday, June 23, 2007

Culture? Some would say

I never thought of myself as a terribly sheltered child. Although my adopted mother was very mindful of what I was allowed to see, to have, or who I was allowed to be friends with. When I met Adam he was a bit older than me well he certainly had alot more life experience than I had. He introduced me to so many new things. Star Wars, Halloween, Phantom of the Opera. Those are three of his true loves in his movies. Those who knew Adam he loved movies so deep it would run in his soul. He wanted to be a special effects artist and a writer. Both of which I think he was talented at. He never used his dreams for good use. A true loss to all of us, In my opinion. Its funny I see things now 4 years after he passed away that he would have LOVED! The Phantom of the Opera Movie, Transformers Movie, Freddy Vs Jason (even if he had a distaste for it in a way I still think he had a love for it), and also the Superman Returns movie. Of course the Star Wars Prequels I am sure I would have loved to hear his stories about these. These things have now become my favorites and I hope to pass them on to Mackenzie one day. I love Phantom of the Opera. The music and the story is beautiful. I watched Phantom of the Opera with him once the horror version with Robert Englund (From Nightmare on Elm Street). But never the true version of the movie or theater production. I think in alot of ways Adam thought of himself as sorta of a phantom. I still have his sketch book I would love to share. Perhaps I will make a scrapbook for Mackenzie about his father. That would be nice. While I still have these memories of them. Adam and I had a bad relationship almost from the go of things but I think in alot of ways i have justified his part in the wrong doing to myself due to sickness or whatever I don't know for sure but thats the only way to make peace with it. As far as my wrong doing I am not innocent. I have not made peace with myself. However I have learned from my experience and will not repeat the mistakes of the past. Thats the only way to make it right.

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